crucify this love of mine

2007-10-21T06:48:00.001-07:00

Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more.

PS : 've shifted to oh-heyhello@LJ, y'all.

2007-09-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

C grabs notebook and scribbles :
I only want XXX OR you-know-who ok !
Me : ....Voldemort ?

-Lol.

Yawns whoamyzod today was a huge happy twee day I zwear cuzzzzzzzzzz XX said etcetcetc hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (sings), Euphoria~!

2007-09-12T06:50:00.001-07:00

I love my red rose ! <3

Fuck lah its dying.

2007-09-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

And it's open
For distraction
You found all the words you need
Well I found nothing
I just grumble
'cause I don't know what I feel

The moral to the story goes
Never leave your heart
Never leave your heart... alone

Run for shelter
An umbrella
Fights the rain but not the wind
And I'd be silly
To start preaching
'cause I don't know which point to make!

The moral to the story goes
Never leave your heart
In a box
Locked up
With cold cold ice
Never leave your heart...
...Never leave your heart... alone.

Am I frozen?
But it's summer!
Is that rain or is that me?
Yes I'm melting
Please be happy
One day soon
We might just swim

The moral to the story goes
Never leave your heart
In a box
Locked up with cold cold ice
Never leave your heart....
Never leave your heart....
Never leave your heart alone

2007-09-11T08:51:00.000-07:00

I wish I were on a roadtrip with my sister, just cruising through to nowhere. To some far side of the world, where cows graze. They would make good companions. I wish she was right here beside me now and we'd be pouring out our woes to each other. I wouldn't be feeling confused amidst all these emotions; mental anguish, sadness, senseless euphoria over nothing, all serving me nothing but to bring me closer to this overwhelming sense of helplessness. Its not just a single matter bothering me. I just wish things were less complicated, for every other significant or insig issue on my mind, for that matter. Tell me, am I thinking too much...?

I'm jaded. Then again, aren't we all ?

PS : Its September 11th. God bless those souls whose spirits are still v much alive. Peace.

2007-09-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

Yay online shopping thanks to YauSX I found a new site ! Love the stuff there <3>

2007-09-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

Yay my momma's back in Sg ! With lots of prezzies 'f course. Got a handclutch, blingage, a pink Hello Kitty(HA HA) handy fan, a pair of Chanel shades and the limited ed tote co-launched by Anya Hindmarch "I'm Not A Plastic Bag" (Its sold out in the US already) yay cute stuff <3>this sigh. But thats okay, I have time..! Thats said, flea market tmr with YauSX yay I can't wait its been a millenium since I last met her, no ? Also, mental notes :

Get that new sized pair of grey skinnies(YAY I'M ONE SIZE SMALLER)
Find A/E Math Elearning WS+other homework
Get IC done @the ICA Building BEFORE 18/9
Text Tonette to confirm bout this Sunday.
*FIND OUT HOW TO INFLATE BARNEY

Sigh my Barney balloon's already deflating ugh SOMEONE SAVE THIS PURPLE THING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-09-07T00:18:00.000-07:00

Hello Tonette could you come over today ? I kinda screwed up the linen and the laundry room's a mess now. Also, I got fed up with trying to salvage whatever damage I did to everything in the room so I just left them the way they were -- ruined. Please don't quit when you see the state of my house.

XOXO, D.

I love my domestic housekeeper she didn't walk out on me..!! She sighed, smiled, stayed for hours and finally managed to bring my house back to normal. Yay bigbigluv to her ! : )

Speaking of which, I am intending to hire MrLongJX and MrLeeLW to be my man maids ! Or one of em could be my man maid and the other, my butler. Whichever would work fine. :D

Okay enough of housekeeping matters, 've got one more night all on my own. If only Mulan was here I'd be feeling alot less lonely now sigh I say mock regrettably.

I need a Cosmo. Now.

2007-09-05T08:55:00.000-07:00

Merci for the birthday wishes : Mommy, Caroline, Huilin, Lester, Jensen, Brandon, Dawn teo, Szexuan, Sharmian, Dawn(wong) Karen, Lily sis, Pearline, Yilu, Yahui, Huilin(volleyball), Minmin, my darlin sister Coleen, Jing(H.I.P.S), Gen, Second aunt, Unknown status aunt, Third aunt, Phyllis sis, Jasmine sis, Rose sis, Catherine(kee), Zongwei, Shenglong, Val, Michelle(ong), Michelle(lim), Rachel, Serene, Jianyang &many others..!! (Sorry if I left your namez out but still, many thanks to y'all.!)

I love you guyz so many !!! Thank you Caroline and Dawnteo, for the amazing Barney balloon blowup(hahaha!), the wand, and also the lovely, lovely card thats so pretty.! Thank you Szexuan Nadia and Huilin for the other cute presents (Re : Mattel products&the tiara hahaha).! Thank you Jensen for the musical box, I love it. : ) Thank you Yilu for the pretty handmade card ! Thank you Minmin, for also another musical box, its sweet thanks..! Thank you Mommy for the charm ring thing aw. Thank you Gen for the top from B.u.m..! Thank you Lester, Brandon, Sharmian, Dawn(wong), Karen, Pearline, Yahui, Huilin(volleyball), Jing, Gen, Cat, Zongwei, Sheng long, Val, Michelle Ong&Lim, Rach, Serene& JY for all the awesome wishes, merci I love y'all so much <3

2007-09-01T20:57:00.000-07:00

Couz wants to have a dog and name it Louis Vuitton and have the alphabets LV "shaved" on her fur wowz I love family gatherings oh they be huge balls of fun, yes ? Played with the kids and my couz+family/P's and Q's, 2 birthday cakes and debates on tv people : Who's gay/who's not(Disturbing, I tell you, disturbing!). Thanks, to all of y'all for the wonderful time I had tonight, esp photo taking with all the kids it was superbly funny I could've almost died(!)

Movie+shopping with mommy tmr for monday outfits, oh the ecstacy and anticipation sends such strong vibes down my spine. And apologies to me lovely Caroline don't be upset no more we love you muchly ! Join us on Monday, yes ? Do agree, we'd want you with us badly ! (Moans)...hey wait. (Groans). Yes, groans. Agree or I'll deem you as a heartbreaker. ):

Official tweeday celebration with my perks on 03/9 yay major love ! <3 It'll be so much fun I love my girls Carol Huilin Nadia &Yilu(no particular favourite fashion) in all th ways there could ever be. : )

And hey you, thanks for the prez I love it I swear. (But I love you more)

2007-09-01T09:51:00.000-07:00

~~Hello Cheryl Chua ! ...............You fucking cunt.~~

"Look who's calling who a humji bitch when she herself doesn't dare to mention my name, you fat piece of lard. No I don't feel guilty, so what? Save your insults for yourself, beauty is skin deep. Oh, you're really pretty, HA? because what I stated is the truth, when it doesn't concern you don't poke your nose into the business and roll your eyeballs around like that 0.0 cuz one day they might just accidentally dropped out and I'll be happy nuff to squeeze the juice out of them. (or maybe not, 'cuz it might just dirty my hands) If you really care for my ex-best friend then show her all the love and care she can get since she doesn't need HER ex best friend no more. She still cares? Oh damn, so touched. No I don't need people to like me after my bitching. You don't bitch is it? Dare, then tell me in my face. Thanks for your comments. HA, DREAM ON. Fucktard."

You know, its really funny how people still bother to play along being your friends. Lets see, oh yes your birthday. I wonder if the world knows that you had to almost beg everyone to come, and call for their cabs so they would go to your pathetic birthday party. Or that people came only becuz they lost The Bet (Re:"If it rains we won't go. If it doesnt rain we'll go.").

You have any idea how D.Teo still sticks up for you even after all those times you made her cry ? Do you have any sense left at all to acknowledge or even appreciate that ? How would you even know if she still cares when you treat her or even talk about her this way ? I suggest you wisen up, and treat people the least bit more decent(both in front and behind their backs). And look who's being gutless. You even had to type your chunk of unhappiness towards Caroline in black so that it'd blend ino the background of your site. Maybe as your acquaintance(or whats even left of it) I'd get you a lawn mower for your birthday next year and you could finally get rid of that jungle off your face before animals start crawling onto you and living there.

2007-08-30T08:39:00.000-07:00

With the exception of PUMP ruining plans for 3rd Sept, today has been okay. : )
(I mean it this time.)

2007-08-27T07:05:00.000-07:00

When you go, would you even turn to say :
"I don't love you, like I did, yesterday." ?

2007-08-20T06:04:00.000-07:00

I. am. annoyed.

Period.

2007-08-19T08:15:00.000-07:00

This love branches out like an old oak tree. says:
No seriously this negative mood's alr shoved down deep my throat.
This love branches out like an old oak tree. says:
Lol I feel like some pathetic bitter fuck that sucks the happiness out of everything
Seriously.

"Them and their stupid boy penises."

--------------

Went to actually shop in detail @Bugis St(its my first time!) with Carol and Teo(again, hee). My trip there was incredibly annoying I HATE THE ----- LINE. Saw weird old men peering into the windows of the sex shop for all they're worth, pointing to the diff dildos and sex toys on display hmm. Rushed down to Cathay in the rain, had a close to death encounter with a cab that almost knocked Carol and I down. Caught Secret(AGAIN) with them, we were late and missed the beginning aw. It was great, but the three of us were freezing so after the film we headed straight to the Ladies' and got warmed up. Put on my new cardigan yay ! <3 Felt good and looked good hahaha. Had dinner @Billy Bombers with Carol Warol after Teo left, and boy we wasted a.l.o.t of food. :/ Went home and thanked God along the way for the new cardigan I bought that saved me from the chilly trip back home.

PS : No pikchurez sorry, we barely had the time.

2007-08-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

I am happy I am happy I am happy I am happy I am happy I am happy I am happy I am happy I am happy I am happy i am happy I am happy I am happy I am happy I am happy I am.

Happy fourth in advance, boy.

Oh we be craaaaazy'

2007-08-11T10:37:00.000-07:00

Helloooooooo world, the earth says. Wait whatever.
Spent my morning with him in school studying(uh huh uh huh), caught another couple YsSl in class too before I walked in and it got me trippin' man I was like having some psychotic episode on the phone with my lovely Carol Warol(oh don't you luv your name)---s.h.o.c.k.e.r.
Fifthfloorcuddlingapologisingmakingupanotherupsettingepisodemoreapologiesandtuggingonsleevesmakingupalloveragainbighappygrins
Dearest remember every Saturday :D

Left school at 4, walked out(ahem, Jensen Lim JianSheng), rushed home to wash up and get dressed before meeting my lovelies Teo and Carol Warol at TM...! (But please don't ask me out to TM any time this week anymore I'm so sick of that place)

I know, just three (pretty) girls, right ?

...just shut up and agree.

.....yeeaap.

What, you can't live with the truth ?

Not. Enough. Pikchurezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz(zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)

2007-08-06T06:31:00.000-07:00

I need retail therapy.

I WANT TO BE ...............
Liberated.

2007-07-23T06:42:00.000-07:00

Feels reasonably upsetting to see people judging others close to them regardless of how they themselves have changed as well. I can only hope things turn for the better for whoever is concerned that I'm talking about here(No, you do not get to assume who this is) and that he/she pulls through this bestfriend/~~bestfriend~~ bullshit.

--------

Wednesday's just round the corner, the day that the sister's taking off back to Au and the day we have our muchly dreaded 2.4km run. Hopefully I'll get to claim my Medical Cert. ..I definitely don't want to end up like last year with the pain stinging.

On a much lighter note, I. Have. Not. Worn. Any. Of. My. New. Underwear. Yet !! Its so infuriating--waking up everyday, sliding open the wardrobe pondering on which to wear and eventually, deciding on an old pair...........jeez. Michelle says Rainbows though.. Now its not the question of which, but the question of when..! Sigh hate having to pick from my options.

Yay underwear.! <3

Yesssssssss shopping spree with Wong and Lwin, finally. Euphoria...! But only next month, holy schmuck. Sigh come, August, come and we be craaazy. (;

Hate hypocritical people. (Again, don't assume.)

2007-07-22T02:20:00.000-07:00

Reached home at 435AM with the sister. <3 Had a lil fun, told her to drive us to the rooftops and she did. And we saw this Subaru (forester I think?) and we were wondering why the heck it was parked there with all the available lots on the lower levels,
And Then. Oh of course, there was a couple making out in the backseats with their feet all propped on the front on the wheels. It was so friggin amusing(not that it was really funny but hey it was 430 in the morning and we were practically like toddlers on steroids) and I couldn't stop laughing all the way till we staggered to our doorstep. Don't judge us, we spent hours in a smoke-exuberant lounge and taking all of it in till we finally got to bathe at 450 and sleep in at 615, so.....shut up tyvm.

Also, yours truly got herself a V.I.P card from Topshop thanks to my lovely sister <3 Yay I don't care if it screams cheap but discounts are good for girls, no ? (If not, singular-girl, for that matter.) Unfortunately I only got myself a pair of gold pumps for SGD$55 they're really lovely yay just that you gotta remember to get yourself those hydrocolloids strips from Guardian in case of any blister breakouts.! ( Re : DON'T USE PLASTERS THEY DON'T WORK) and two pairs of underwear from the same place too for SGD$13 per pair they're so cute one rainbow-patterned and the other, rubber-duckie.! They looked so lovely I just had to grab em <3
---------
Ooh yes and we saw the cross dresser dude at the Dhoby Ghaut train station and some group of caucasian schmucks were dissing him he was such a poor thing, getting judged by everyone. I mean, there were people going on the escalator to the upper level but following him back down again on the escalator just to get a closer look on his legs, Good lord. And there was this guy that told us he was featured on the Newpaper some time ago.... Wait, but maybe he likes the attention ? People these days are just, really........kinki. Also, throw in Aussie sister's opinion that "Singaporeans are finally learning to layer(in sense of dressing up)."
But thats that, I hope Carol doesn't kill me for the fact that I missed so many of her calls(I'm so sorry! Slipped my mind that the private-numbered calls were from you) and that I kinda backed out on today sigh I hope I get to stay alive on Monday....................so should I wear the rubberduckie or the rainbows hm?

What is Respect.

2007-07-20T09:04:00.000-07:00

~~Its funny we're stereotyped as a, "fuckedup class" I unquote, when we're entirely not in the wrong. Yeah, funny. Ha-ha funny.~~

Respect, if you want it in return. Familiar, no ?

--------------

I apologise to the class chair. But you don't see what we're trying to say. You don't know that we have a sense of respect towards you. You don't see that we know you're trying hard with all the shit responsibilities and our bad attitudes to teachers that land you in trouble.
You ask me why am I still bothering to explain when I can sarcastic here. I'm upset, we all are. What happened today already showed enough. But none of us wants things to end up this way. You don't believe that we respect you. And I have no idea how to prove it to you either.
If we tried talking less and concentrating more during lessons, would that prove us ? If it would, there's no harm trying.
My post on psychologists isn't about you, you misunderstood me. It wasnt and isnt you.
I'm sorry our class has to be such a big ball of trouble. I'm sorry we have to be so irresponsible for the consequences of our actions. I'm sorry you had to have such a bad day and us adding more burdens to the ones you already carry. You didn't want to hear more, there's no other way I could explain further. But I know you're reading this. You haven't heard the rest of it yet. The others still have lots to say, and I'm sure you got a few pointers for them too. I saw your point, but do you see mine..?
You lost it this afternoon. On Teo. She was angry, hurt and crying. Upset that you heard her but you didn't exactly listen. Would you listen to what we have to say ? If you wouldn't, then maybe you're right, I shouldn't bother explaining at all. Getting back to the point, you have not explained to me.

What is Respect in your terms ?

I don't need this.

2007-07-13T05:52:00.000-07:00

I really don't need a psychologist, okay ? I have no idea whats up with you. You think I have mental problems, all the time and just for the record, you're the one thats really driving me insane. I'm really not obliged to tolerate your menopause crap, alright ?

So bore someone else with your needs if you wanna take your fluctuating moods out on others.

2007-07-09T07:35:00.000-07:00

If you were still here, would you love me regardless.?

Cuz I still love you, the same way that I did, and more.

BABY ILY!

2007-07-06T08:41:00.000-07:00

hey passionate lover!
darling darling!
i juz wanna say i love you!
AHA! (:
okay thats all. e rest tell u soon k?

jS

2007-06-28T23:11:00.000-07:00

I was so stressed out just now so I browsed through some of Friendster's old bulletins and I came across this :

Message:
this is a '3 words' game..
u can onlymake a sentence with 3 words.. ursentence must relate to the previousone.. ok.. let's try it..

'minty' : few days ago
-Gary- : i broke up
'Cheyenne-: and i cried
Rex : Trying to Kill
lynn: an ugly cockroach
r-chong: dat can fly
v3nv3n : i screamed ahhhhhh!
PenGYeN : but it accidently....
Hui Wen : Got stepped by...
flowerhorn : a humongest ant
-swing: the cockcroach cry...
huiwen : and it said
zanne : that hurts stupid!
eRiCa : den ant say
hj : dint mean it
XYcoordinates : you ugly freak
char BearBearWAN: and dirty fellow
LURBE : just get lost
MAMATO : and go away
CELESTINE : i hate you !!!
ENMARYE[: : FOREVER AND EVER!
XINYU:D : If I don't hate you
'SPOILT : eii miight as well go diie .
TingTing : So one day ..
yanyan: ant was hungry
Denise: and very dirty
Deep: Dirty like blangala
mshuiiqii : den the ant
KAILI - : went to bathe.
yanyan: unfortunately, it drowned
sheenin: went to heaven.
lio: and god said
Brian: for fucks sake
-cLeMeNt-: dun be lame
>-mario-<:thats so gay
'Marc: i'll screw you
JOEL:and your mum

Hahaha wtf

PS : Thanks boyfriend I love you <3

Happy 2nd Month darlest!

2007-06-16T12:03:00.000-07:00

hey darling i dont know if u will see this? haha but just wanna say i love you and i love you!
and
HAPPY TWO MONTHS!
okay byebye!
i love you darling!
check your email soon! and your phone.. ):

2007-06-10T07:03:00.000-07:00

Been spending days and nights rushing through assignments(of course not 24/7 or I'd be a true hillbilly) and I must say : My work all seem so esoteric, who would understand what I'm doing ? No wait, who am i trying to kid its just a silly essay. With a cliche topic(Re : Disappointment), for that matter. Sadly I can only pray hard for the powers of completing everything to be bestowed upon me becuz apparently I can't have it any other away, so tough luck huh. Also, I do need to stop losing my mind and jumping around hysterically like some vibrating jellybean whenever I look at the clock nowadays cuz.......................well, its bad.
GOOD POINT, DAWN, GOOD POINT.

Anyhowwwwwww phone calls with my love has been cut down to like 2-3(?) a day and that explains why each time feels so endearing sigh WHY, WHY DID YOUR OLE MIGHTY PHONE BILL TURN OUT TO BE 800plusminusplusyesIthinkitsaplusBUTWHOCARESITDOESNTMAKEAFRIGGINDIFFERENCE! ): But hey, we were both willing parties.. Hm......(sly smile) Oh euphoria.

MOVING ON, I packedup earlier on with my mom and she was so pragmatic I could just d.i.e ugh You can't bring this and that aint appropriate either etc JEEZ it was all like, "Oh come on, mom~!" Grrrrrrrrrrawr she practically laid off all I packed but, forget that.
I will miss you so fuckingmuch.
..Holey schmoley I gotta get back to work y'all,
GIRD YOUR LOINS !!!!!!!!!

2007-06-06T13:27:00.000-07:00

To Do List :
- Complete all(or most) assignments before the 13th.
- Get haircut ?
- Find the 50 I lost somewhere in my room.
- Wait for Friday.
- Go for more shopping @Vivo with Wong and Lwin.
Remember, remember : Topshop/DorothyPerkins?PullandBearMNGDavid&GoliathDivaAldom)phosisLevisgirls ?

Anyhow. Crash diet crash diet! thoughts are in my mind cuz I want to drop two sizes yay ! Ugh but bad skin found its way to my face mainly because I either haven't been sleeping at all/been sleeping very, very little. (Groans) Minmin you're right ! Should have listened to ya and got my mardy bum to bed. Also, bad hair days bad hair days are killin me I zwear. I should just stay at home and keep my head in the books like a billy hobilly till I get my hair and face back to normal. And I should run everyday too before the annual 2.4(gasps!) comes. Alternatives to slimming two sizes ! And what else what else oh yes get pumps not heels Get Pumps Not Heels GET PUMPS NOT HEELS!!! ..or not. Sigh making up my mind has been such a chore these days, honestly. Also, find new tote bag for July school use, get rid of NUM it brings back revolting memories of the short fat phat. In short, I will run every morning and study everyday and complete all my assignments and maybe crashdiet and save $ and study and date and slim down and study and shop and slim down 2 sizes and study alot alot alot and not forgetting eatlesseatlesseatless -

On second thoughts..........maybe not.

Editd/
I hate articulating my feelings sometimes. You don't get it and on another point, why should I ?

darling i love you =D

2007-06-06T10:19:00.001-07:00

okay darlest!
just wanna say thank you so much for cheering me up and stuff.
i love you loads!
and yea he'll be fine. :)
hugs!

jS

2007-06-04T04:13:00.000-07:00

At this rate I'm gonna drop dead tmr. Its 4:12AM now and I'm still feelin quite alive. (Groans) God save me.

2007-06-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

Went shopping with my mom yay Outfitter Girls <3 Almost got the coat but decided otherwise on second thoughts. Wanted pumps but couldnt find suitable ones. So spent hours and went home with <10 shopping bags. Bummerrrrrrrrr. Will spree more with the girls and in Perth with my lovely too, of course. Can't wait to leave Sg with all the crap happening to everyone around me, its like the perfect solution to migraines, if you want em.

That gives me yet another reason to long for your embrace even more.
I miss you dearest, but where are you ?

2007-06-02T16:41:00.000-07:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine, as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

2007-06-02T01:40:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it.

No, I can't believe my mom, actually. She brought me to this chinese sinseh person cause my back has some unknown apparent problem and that therapist sucked me.

Don't think dirty and you'll know what I mean.

Anyhow. Yes she sucked me she fucking s.u.c.k.e.d me and it spelt p-a-i-n all over me. Ugh I was grabbing the sides of the sheets and wincing but that only made her increase her strength when massaging and groping the waist area in attempt to "cast the bad stuff away", for christ's sakes. Now I have 2 black O's at the end of my spine. They're HUGE, I'm tellin ya, h.u.g.e HUGE ! And to top it all off she said I can't bathe until tmr morning (clutches heart and heaves)

...Good God I need psychological therapy now.

PS : Don't complain on this post seeming to have a twistedsick side of the story but hey, its not like you're the one that got sucked by a chinese sinseh therapist so stfu tyvm.

(I really, don't feel any better.)

Editd//
Dammit 1:35AM in the morning and my back still aches. Its almost killin me any moment.
Don't say Fuck, Dawn. Don't say that. Control your verbal usage. Be Demure.

Fuck.

2007-05-23T08:18:00.000-07:00

Never forget the promises you've made with her.
Never make a mistake, and explain to her after with loud music playing in the background.
Never say the wrong things and sound as if you think it won't mean much to her.
Never think the things you say don't affect her.
Never forget the things she's told you before.
Never annihilate her patience.
Never think anything she says is insignificant.
Never try to be funny at the most untimely moments.
Never ask her to call you and keep putting her on hold.
Never be afraid to show her to your friends, whats there to hide ?
Never be dishonest with her whenever she asks for your opinions on matters.
Never self proclaim and make her agree with you.
Never be clingy when she really needs to hang up.
Never try to rush things in your relationship, take it slow.
Never be off-focused while listening to her.
Never let her think that you're not giving your all in this relationship.
Never let her feel that you can't put down your pride or anything else, for her.
Never let her feel that changing yourself for her in any small way or another, is impossible.
Never let her feel that to you, she doesn't mean all that much.
Never let her feel that you won't go a hundred yards for her.
Never bad mouth her behind her back.
Never say things in one way in front of her and from another totally different perspective behind her back.
Never say things you don't mean.
Never let people judge her in bad ways and get away with it.
Never fail to let her know you'll be there for her, caring for her and wondering all the time whats on her mind and whats bothering her ; whats making her smile and whats not, that you'll always be behind her when shes down, being her pillar of support when she needs strength, cushioning her every fall and pulling her back up on her feet, trailing behind her when shes in need of someone maybe not to know whats happening, but enough just to understand and be by her side.

Let her know that even if you could be in any part of the world, you'd still choose to be with her because life's just simply more wonderful with her by your side.
Let her know that she is special to you, someone so significant and important ; no word can ever define your love for her.
Let her know that you love her - every single moment during every single day of your life.
Let her know that when you wake up in the mornings you no longer feel groggy in the head or bummed out that theres school - because you know you'll be able to see her and thats just about more than enough to make your day.
Let her know that theres someone in this world, lovin her with every single honest beat of his(or her) heart with none other explanations besides a simple and sincere word - Love.

2007-05-23T04:25:00.000-07:00

Mental note : T.O.A C.A.H S.O.H
Tangent = opposite/adjacent
Cosine = adjacent/hypothenuse
Sine = opposite/hypothenuse
Remember !!!

On a side note, I'll be going over to Perth alone to look for my fellow Tan at Perth(Winter season, winter season) for ten days. The only thing I'm looking forward in getting out of it is plain hanging out with her, since the only thing they'll be selling over at WA will be fur and earmuffs, which means shopping over there will be redundant since I can't bring winter clothes to Singapore(What for, to suffocate myself with.?!) And that reminds me, online shopping caught my attention lately. Damn David&Goliath doesn't ship to Sg. If I'm lucky they'll ship over to Aussie in time for me to pick em up. Ohmystarz I can't wait to get over there and meet up with that mardy bum, yay no parental guidance/adult supervision solicited ! :D
BUT the downside of it's that I will be missing my second month with Him.(and also first official class outing with 3 CR'07!!) I say sigh and shake your head regrettably. Of course when I get back I'm gonna pay him back all the time I owe him/he's gonna make me pay for the time I owe him ; either way I'll still be spending time with him to make up for the ten days of my absence in Sg. (:

Not forgetting to mention, the whole of my June's laid out and planned straight now.
First two weeks - Runningrunningrunning, training?, studying, pump?(9AM-5PM, kickass and I deserve it), self study@school(yet another date with Mustafa sigh), extra classes to attend(math), dating, shopping, funpeacelovelaughterjoy
Last two weeks - Solitary flight to WA, trip to Brisbane with fellow Tan + bonus more funpeacelovelaughterjoy

Followups :
-ParentTeacher meeting
-Shopping spree with Wong(Hl) and Carol
-Tuition @home with Goh, 930AM(Ohmystarz this is kickass too)
-Outing with Carol and 3CR girls next week
-More dates with BfLim yay :D

Things to get :
-Accounting textbook
-HCL textbook ..ugh
-Staple bullets*
-0.7 Pencil lead*
-Greenblueblackred pens*
-More markers !
*Claim them from Mom.

Things to do :
-Check lists and complete them.
-Chillout !

-------

(climbs up the stairs)
Lwin : Wtf are you doing.?!
Tan : Climbing the stairs duh, WHAT THE HELL DO I LOOK LIKE I'M DOING ?!

(on the bus)
Lwin : Ohmygod this guy stinks..
Tan : Really ? Thank God I've got a blocked nose I can't smell a thing.
(insert deep inhaling)
...
(upon alighting)
Lwin : He reeked of sweat !!
Tan : OHMYGOD YOU DIDN'T TELL ME !! I WAS BREATHING IN SWEAT SMELLS CAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST SOME MINOR ODOUR THAT DIDNT SMELL SO BAD OR POSSIBLE SMELL OKAY !!
Lwin : WHAT KINDA ODOUR WOULD SMELL NICE !?!
Tan : ....hm.

On a much lighter note, I proudly announce I know how to narrate this : !?!
Ha haha but by doing that over and over again makes my facial features go numb it feels like I went for Botox shots or somethin'.

Aite this has been pretty wordy, I appreciate those that have read every single word and survived without closing this tab/window, its a pretty huge accomplishment. (:

2007-05-20T00:30:00.000-07:00

I don't even know how to start now. Let's just say that I'm aware of the disappointments I've brought to everyone around me, including to myself and I have no explanations left as to why I did so absofuckinglutely badly this time round in my midyears. Hearing from my best friend how disappointed others are in me definitely felt like a tight slap on the face. I am awake now, but I can feel others annihilating their hopes in me. I know myself that I was too distracted, my mind was too into plenty other things I shouldn't have gotten myself affected with, at the wrong time. I know I spent too much time bothering in matters that were insignificant compared to studying - at that moment before midyears. It is only right that I'm getting these results back now - after all I don't deny that I really didn't spend adequate time studying seriously(except for SS and geog but what difference does it make now that I failed these 2 too) I know it myself how its a pain in teh ass to hear someone speak empty words to you over and over again ; you guys might lose/have already lost your trust in me and I don't want to make promises to anyone now either.
Too many thoughts in my head that I need to sort out alone.

"Its like I've never taught her before." -Mr S.

Will you still believe in me.?

2007-05-19T18:16:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry dearest, I was a wreck the day before yesterday and last night too but it won't happen again, I promise. We'll keep this heart together, love. =) And though we didn't exactly celebrate our first month together properly, and neither can we for our coming second, but we'll make every moment we spend together count okay ? Because every moment I spend with you is as significant as another. Boy, you know I love you, and thats all that matters for now and in the future. (Pssst I know you love your girlfriend too ! Ha ha ha) :D

PS : OMG DEAN GEYER IS WITH LISA ORIGLIASSO(one of The Veronicas) WHOAMYZOD WHOAMYZOD DEAN GEYER DEAN GEYERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRawr :B

2007-05-14T03:35:00.001-07:00

I have been thinking alot lately. Realised that I'm too caught up in the rush, so now I'm just..stopping to think to myself more in solitude. It isn't anything about having a complex mind, or as the common phrase goes, "thinking too much" or beyond what others might actually process in their minds. Just having more time to myself to reflect on whats happened and if I've taken things the right way. I can surely say that my MYE results are a no-no now ; its not exactly a great thing but I'll take it. Its all I've got now, isn't it ? One lesson after another has taught me to take things at ease. Its not easy to make things right when you've screwed things up over and over again, but I'll make my best tries from now. Grateful and remorse is an understatement, but I can't find other words to describe the feelings I have for my mom thats always giving me chances, trusting that I will get better results the next time round, yet to find herself chapfallen all the same after all - anyone could tell. Its this downside of it that always finds its way into my heart and stares at my face, Don't you feel guilty at all, you little schmut ? I do. I can't make empty promises anymore, false hope is the last thing i want to give to her now. Looking at my midyear results I'm not even sure if I can manage to be able to buck up by the end of the year ; but its worth a try. Its all blatant now, I'm giving this another shot. There are plenty other voids that I constantly seek to fill, but the number is dwindling. I'm fully aware myself how senselessly moody I can be, and its not gonna happen. My feelings are mine to manipulate, and thats not gonna change for anything in the world. Slightly harsh it might sound, but thats that. Plenty of things are not my place to judge though, and I'll keep my trap shut. Maybe this will be the best to stay out of unnecessary attention, I don't want to lose what I've finally found ; because I know this time the feeling's just right. I'm exhausted after so much that has happened, but I know things will have to carry on nevertheless. It won't be me to give up just like that, would it. Now that I've got things slowed down on pace, its all going to change. I'm gonna try my best to sustain all that I've got now, and to constantly work my way to the top.

Life's gonna be interesting. (:

/Edited
Don't question me on the chunk above, I just needed to clear my head so your understandings of it won't be necessary. Oh, and its only one more day to our first month, I love you dearest. (:

大家好

2007-05-11T00:11:00.000-07:00

他妈的考试终于完了。

i love you baby girlfriend
haha blogging so cool!
okay byebye

jS

(see you later)

2007-05-01T15:21:00.000-07:00

Met dearest yesterday morning and it really made my day :D Baby boy, we'll have more mornings filled with shy grins, bird watching, shoulder leaning and naked-uncle-anticipating okay ? I love you. ^^

Snapping back, its Labours Day and I'm wondering why the f are we mugging so hard when its supposed to be a holiday, for God's sake. Not of course till Shar said, "Now I know why its called Labours Day. LABOURS DAY get it ?" Darn. I should have known. The most fantastic part is none of the information I'm staring at in our SS/E Hist textbooks/workbooks/notes/worksheets is willing to get into my brains. I guess I was born with a malfunctioned one to start with.

Am re-evaluating my relationships with the books. Might set the pages on fire if I can't resist the massive temptation in my twisted mind to grab the lighter/matchsticks/anything that can light up a spark.

2007-04-27T21:22:00.000-07:00

To a very, very special you :

It doesn't make it any different when you tell me you're sorry and that we can salvage things. Its still the same damn gig -- you betrayed me. And nothing's gonna lighten the estrangement between us.

So how bout a nice warm cup of you really fucking suck ?

2007-04-25T05:36:00.001-07:00

Fecking sneezin my nose off now. Am sick. Dearest says I sound terrible on the phone with the gasping for breaths and all. Jeez Dawn you are such a prick. Do try to be stronger. For concourse escapade tmr ! <3

Now I look like Yp the reindeer with hoofs--Fantastic. Ugh bummerrrrrrr.
And its not even Christmas for God's sake.

To top it all off, I miss my baby boyfriend. D: Hear you in an hour, boy.
Kisses to my love.

2007-04-23T04:42:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend is so cute he thinks that darlest = darling + dearest. ^^ I don't care if it sounds weird but, I like~! Teehee.

Uh oh uh oh dreading tmr we're gon' take our HCL papers 1&2..bummer. I'm announcing to the world : You. Will. See. Me. Pass because this time the kickass school decided not to include the part where you have to fill in the blanks(omzod joy!!) so I think I can pass....I think. /: But whatever. Moving on, here's something really adorable from Loads More Lies To Tell Small Kids, by Andy Riley :

Starfish are all alchoholics that's why beaches are covered in cans and you never see a starfish standing up.

-Cute.

On a side note, congratulations to AngBeechiaang and her Mr.J(too!) on their first month of full blasting el oh vee ee :D Stay mighty strong.!!

PS, I love you Mr.Johensoen~! ^^

2007-04-22T23:01:00.000-07:00

It started off like this :

Then slowly..

First week :

Years down the road after Little Johnny pops out :

And yet when it all falls to dust, still..

These words are my own

From my heart flow

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you

There's no other way

To better say

I love you, I love you !

That's all I got to say,

Can't think of a better way,

And that's all I've got to say,

I love you, is that okay?

Baby boyfriend its been one week since we got together, for real. To put it simply, it has been one fantastic week full of love and though we've quarreled(within a week!) but of course it always ends up alright. I've already told you alotalotalot of private chunks of emotions(pssst not for the public, sorry) and you know they come straight from the bottom of my heart.

PS, Jensen Lim ; I love you dearest, stay mine. ^^

-Signed, Yours Truly.

2007-04-13T13:11:00.001-07:00

If we were a movie
You'd be the right guy
And I'd be the best friend
That you'd fall in love with
In the end we'd be laughing
Watching the sunset
Fade to black
Show the names
Play that happy song..

I miss you #.

2007-04-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

My new favoured word : Fruitcake.

2007-04-08T23:47:00.000-07:00

I quote the Emo Teens Of Our Nation :
If you're emo and you know it, slit your wrists.
If you're emo and you know it, slit your wrists.
If you're emo and you know it and you really wanna show it,
If you're emo and you know it, slit your wrists.

Cute.

2007-04-06T04:21:00.000-07:00

I am so fucking upset at Blogger for being such a bitch but anyways just in short :
You better fucking lay off your deprecation of my IQ level because fyi, you're supposed to be encouraging throughout, not some total wreck whom actually owns the abilities to nag the paint off my walls(its not a compliment by the way, if you're not sober enough to actually understand). And I futha mucking aint in the feckin mood to take your screwd, unreasonable, fluctuating mood swings right now, so there.

2007-03-19T21:24:00.000-07:00

Stumbled upon something old today :

Dawn
Origin : Old English
Meaning : Sunrise
Characteristics :
Suggests a lady(ha, ha !) who is quiet, smart and pretty.(YOU SEE THIS YOU SEE) She is always thinking of ways to make the world a better place to live in.
..
Wow I never knew I was that sensational ha, ha. So anyways today's the first official day of school after the March Hols -- something I've been dreading. But it turned out okay, just that I missed * super badly today~! Damn didn't manage to even catch a glimpse. Like recess and after assembly : I. So. Could. Have. Seen. *. Ugh how sad how sad.! But thanks to # I had the video to keep me happy all day long teehee.

Gee I can't wait for my driving license, audi TT and BAILEYS~! ^^

//Edited.
You're living proof that faeces/shit/poop/ding dongs can actually have arms and legs grown outta it. Now, you satisfied ?

2007-03-10T22:13:00.000-08:00

Hokay haven't been here for a super long time. Anyways theres been plenty trippin' as of late. Am ecstatically and insanely happy that the hols are finally here. The downside of it's that the badass school's getting us to go back and do time during the March hols for flunkin. Arh gotta buckle up and study the right stuff this time rnd. So anyone wanna meet up for Mackers breakfast next week ? ^^

Been spending quite some time with Carol and Huilin(something very commendable after a long time of distantness) and Nadia you're gonna get it triple from us for always backing outta dates D: Caught MTV with Carol at my place yesterday, holla~! Not forgetting to mention late night phone calls ohmyzod its love.! Ha, ha Carol and Huilin came over to bathe and get dressed after classes ended it was fun too ; We love good underwear, don't we girls ? Headed to Kovan in Coltplus with mom driving and called Nadia to find her asleep. (You pighead thats it man you're gonna get it when we see you the next time I zwear) Compromised with them two to watch a movie in exchange of them coming with me to school and hang rnd till Talentime ends for *(haw, haw). The movie was kinda good, actually but darn the theatre was so cold it felt like a mass freezer inna fridge or something. Guess the most kickass gig after all was hanging rnd in campus with them two last night. We had the tix to Talentime but backed out since Huilin didnt have any. Which reminds me,
Yilu : I'm really sorry we backed out in the end after getting the tix together. It wasnt on purpose and we wanted to call you to join us for dinner but * * * * * and I totally had no idea.! I'm sorry if you feel that we've been keeping you out, alot girl. Yours sincerely.

So yes basically me Huilin and Carol did time being ourselves -- retarded. The downside of heels is the pain that comes along with it when you get them from any store even if its highrise. Call me smart for wearing flats yesterday. ^^ So the three of us spent time kicking heels away and picking them up, walking around barefooted and holding each other's heels, exchanging footwear(Yes they stole mine), Koala-hugging the basketball post, poledancing on the tables at the concourse, playing weird tunes that has frequencies that sounded really wrong on the piano at the concourse(again), leaning on each other's backs and singing out to Jesse Mccartney's Just So You Know and PCD feat Timberland's Wait A Minute, pretending biscuits and cakes were gun holsters in bras "Buy one, Get One Free~!", gasping for air in between laughter fits, sitting around at the basketball courts plain singing tunes to the moon, debating aimlessly on whether we saw Things and walking here and there laughing, giggling, talking random and senseless etc. Hell yea, what a wellmade choice to go back to school, dont you think girls ? Credit moi, thankyou. (hyuk, hyuk) ^^ Hitched a ride from Junqian's Daddy (thankyou girl, so much heh) out of school and tried flagging cabs so desperately we could've made it to the top of the Charts if there was ever a competition of the most bimbotic girls, I zwear. Thenafter they packed, said goodbyes and left. What a big ball of fun, I must say. Anyone up for another night like that ?

I'm glad Friday turned out like that, y'all have no idea what a lousy week we girls have been through. Hope Monica and W.Dawn feel much better like I do now too. And all because, * is my medicine.! (hyuk, hyuk) he's so cute I zwear. Am heading to more indoor trainings from now on heh. Oh yes is anyone heading for the trip to Germany ? 2900 for 9 days is a really huge cheap thrill. W.Dawn I can't wait to pack up and fly off witchoo to Venice~! ^^ Mm more updates on lil insig stuff like the tremors we felt ; Ys thought he was dizzy and Carol actually thought I had the dangit strength to shake the entire floor with mah ass(gasps!!). &I zwear my sister is the cutest thing ever. I msged her like 5-10 after the tremors and it was like this(fyi shes in Perth) :
Me : Oh f* (uh uh uh I know my words) we just sensed tremors and the building was swaying
Her : Haha thats so f*ing cool!! Man. I wish I was there.
Me : No way it was traumatising and you dont wanna go through it, nah uh
Her : Lol hey thats like the only time you'll ever feel a quake in Singapore..sigh. Shake Perth, shake!!
...

-Bimbo. But I wont deny that She Is So Cute ^^ Miss her so much man you prune why d'you have to fly all the way to Perth and study at Murdoch. D: Will be seeing you in June and byatch dont gain weight and fly back to whine/complain/decide on suicide please or you're gonna get it, again. Lupchoo long time girl. ^^ Jeez this has been one wordy post, y'all

//Editd
This is only so much I can take.

2007-02-19T23:58:00.000-08:00

Its the last few minutes of Feb 19 and yet I still can't drive away those thoughts of you from mine. Its been one year since you left, Daddy. Hows things ? I hope you're fine. Do drop by anytime in my dreams, I've been missin you. With lots of love, XOX.

Sometimes I can't adapt to all the reds, supposed reunion dinners, happy chinese songs, singing&celebrations, smiles and laughter all at once and it makes me wanna throw up. Such uneasiness.
I hate chinese new years.

2007-02-04T23:35:00.000-08:00

I think I'm getting used to this insanely hectic life, now. But things have been going wrong within all of us in class and you guys should know it yourselves too. Now can we not screw up each others' lives further ?

And you. Don't be keeping things to yourself okay. I'm supposed to be teh trashcan you know. I'll help out wit all the class stuff so don't get so tense I dont want you to die in your sleep (ha, ha), cretin. (:

Sometimes it gets a little screwd up when people try to interfere in my life. Nuff said, I just want you guys to back off a little. I know I'm taking a long time, but just leave me alone to think.

2007-01-21T06:30:00.000-08:00

Cause I'm leaving on a jetplane.

Hello world don't think this place is dead yet~! Anyways I guess any average human being in his/her right mind won't be visiting here anymore after much disappointments so I'm just gonna blog to my own amusement.

I must say, 2007 started out pretty weird, with so many new starts to begin with. Like,
1. White shoes.
2. Having Kee Yongsheng& Sirui in the same class.
3. New classroom, new classmates, new teachers, new subjects, new textbooks.
4. Climbing 4 levels up everyday. (!?!)

Yes I Hate Climbing Four Levels Up Every Dangit School Day. The badass school just had to situate us on the fourth level and make us climb up and down four levels each time. Screwit. Though having those three '91 laojiaos(or so they claim to be) in class makes life's entertainment level go up by one huge step. At first like every other class(I assume), we were quite quiet. Everyone having friends from '06 cliques/friends from other classes coming into the classroom etc etc. Now it still happens(Nadia Huilin Kaixi Karen come up everyday for fun peace love&joy) but whats changed is, people in our class are starting to interact more after two weeks. Feels kinda nice, actually. I mean, after all we will be seeing each other for the next two years right. We can't possibly be so distant for sucha long time. So yes I proudly announce that 3Courage is aiming for the Zhong Zheng Jing Shen Jiang~! Shit no link. But whatever let's move on shall we.

It's funny how Nadia and Huilin exclaim to me all the time about how they love our class. I think it's more of the fun+laughter=entertainment that Kee/W.dawn/Sirui brings. Everyone likes to laugh every now and then. :) Anyway as everyone can see on Huilin's blog Kee's sexy sexy~ hot bod ha haha. It all happened when we were doing class deco back on Friday. My Z520i got painted with a small splash of gold paint on the side buttons, thanks Kee. Haa but we had lotsa fun though, couldn't stop the funnybunnies from attackin. And I skipped training to complete the darn thing but it wasn't intentional I zwear~! I was planning to go training together with Cat after her # ends (and I even told Emi&Jocelyn that I'd go !) but Cat ended up feeling pretty drained+tired=lousy and I had the classboard on my hands with the rest. So as y'all can guess, we ended up skipping Friday's training sigh. Thats one whole week of training that I've skipped already.
Which brings to me remember, I can't skip anymore trainings man. I promised * I'd go at least once a week, and I don't wanna feel like I'm the sorta people who don't keep by their words. So no matter what from now on my Wednesdays/Fridays must be kept wide open unless in any case of emergency (eg, my mom slits her wrists/my sister drives herself dead into a car crash/insert any other suitable accidental emergency situation). Shittttttttttt.

This is fresh, I'm typing away while the world is dead asleep at 628AM.
Bye world.

2006-12-31T00:24:00.000-08:00

Get this : (to a very special you)
I don't deny that I'm messed up more than ever this time. And I was relieved to solve Us out, but now you're telling me you know different. I really Don't Need you to mess me up even More, neither do I need you to try and help my life untangle itself. Maybe it'd be Best if you Back It Up and save me the Trouble of telling you how.

/Edit
Merry Belated Xmas y'all, and Chantelle : Happy Belated Fifteenth :D
Aha aw snap that teeny word was so anti climax but moving on, 2007 is coming yo and honestly, I'm dreading being S3 it makes us all one year older(gasp!!)~! Aha but of course that brings us closer to NC/M/R heh~ And its been coming to me that more and more people have been depressed/suicidal as of late. Aw shoot Tis The Season To Be Jolly, no ?

Sigh I might as well end this off now so,
Fa La La La La, La La La La~
(PS : I have so truly outgayed myself, I know.)

2006-12-08T14:03:00.000-08:00

Check what mah kootie sister said at breakfast :
"I always thought JoJo was. a little black boy."
HA HA oh keeeds this is dyamzit funnaye cause we were watching MTV all mornin and this honey poochie pun that lines in the same bloodline as me just had to pop that out at breakfast, which I proudly announce 'twas Zaru Soba cold noodles :D Okay shit no big.

None interesting happenings as of late, oh schnap I've been missin mah fave Teevee shows, gasps(!!) Here, I presentcha wit mah very limited evening programmes as of such :
7pm-730pm : Thats So Raven, Disney Channel33
730pm-800pm : Drake&Josh, Nickelodeon Channel32
Shit that is so sad but MTV IS STILL MY LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEE <3

Kay nuff said,
Here I regrettably say that I realise we've been drifting reeeaaly far apart with everyone flying to all sortsa bullshit places on God's Green Earth and so I propose to Yilu, Huilin, Nadia&Szexuan(Oh schnap Carol's at Myanmar),
A date. :D
Whoamyzod awesome awesome shit h'kay cause I can't buh-lieve how fast we're all losing youth(hawhaw) &yes we need to settle down for a date for fun&laughter like old times, no ? :D

Nuff said, I want to slaughter my sister my parents named, Coleen for pulling me outta bed and yes, under the covers (!!) to sneak out all the way downstairs just so she can have my presence to be her company while she parks the damn car in the lot. At the end of the day I hold my temper and ask her evr so sweetly, But why, sister dear(no I didnt actually say that) that you have to have my company ? I gasp in horror as she says, Cause my friend told me something scary. Rawr ohmyzod ohmyzod She Has Sinned Deeply because I repeat, you Do Not attempt to pull your sister who's 7 years younger at the age 14 outta bed through a godzammit phone call that keeps ringin with Rihanna's We Ride ringtone at 1:19AM, and get her arse all the way downstairs just so you can have her damn company while you park the car, JUST BECAUSE YOUR DANGIT FRIEND TOLD YOU SOMETHING CREEPY.

Blah I'm not feeling interesting.

2006-11-28T21:47:00.000-08:00

So honey just bring it on and we'll see what you've got.
But don't go off cryin later cause thats what I've got.

If you have a private blog, and you link it up in your public blog. What do you really want to put across ? So you set up a private blog to hide your feelings from the world, but then again you link it up in hopes that people might stumble upon it and see how you really feel ? Call me crazy, but I'm in the mood for some answers here yo.

But you know why I didnt want you to know that I knew about it ? Cause thats the only way I could know how you feel/felt. So it turns out we all still put on brave fronts after all.

2006-11-24T23:04:00.000-08:00

11/24/2006 10:57:57 PM Tainted love : XXX P.S, I love you.

2006-11-23T22:25:00.000-08:00

I told you I was immune but I really, really ..

Wasn't Immune At All.

2006-11-22T21:40:00.000-08:00

I have a godzammit long Xmas list of pressies to got for everyone and for yours truly. I hope the Chrsitmas turkey this year's stuffed to the brim. &money would be the best topping of all. Okay keeeding. Anyways I need to cut down on resources somehow to get the kaching flowin.

God Save Me. please.(?)

Lime flea market with the girls on Saturday shoot I need shades asap.

2006-11-20T22:36:00.000-08:00

Sorta got the Sony Ericsson W850i white&gold phone last night on impulse.

Shit son,
I could have saved around 2714 african kids.

Oops pardon my foolish nescience of the dying world.

2006-11-19T15:23:00.000-08:00

Does your name begin with: D

Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full Steam ahead in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement's, sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very sharp & talented often with sense of humour. When people bother to look deep inside they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open attitude................. You get jealous of other people and lose your temper.

SEPTEMBER :

Suave and compromising
Careful, cautious and organised
Likes to point out people's mistakes
Likes to criticize
Quiet but able to talk well
Calm and cool
Kind and sympathetic
Concerned and detailed
Trustworthy, loyal and honest
Does work well
Sensitive
Thinking
Good memory
Clever and knowledgeable
Loves to look for information
Must control oneself when criticising
Able to motivate oneself
Understanding
Secretive
Loves sports, leisure and travelling
Hardly shows emotions
Tends to bottle up feelings
Choosy especially in relationships
Loves wide things
Systematic

Virgo :

Turn ons
Virgo's are very methodical and have great sense of duty but are blind to their own faults so if you have a Virgo partner emphasize more on their qualities (as it is they are not going to accept). Take keen interest in what they are doing and you will realize that they will go out of their way to help you. Do rely and appreciate their mental powers than physical powers. They can turn even an unsuccessful venture into a success.
Turn offs
Do not push a Virgo into limelight or on the center stage unless of course they do so on there own. They are shy and reserved by nature and do not like to be cynosure of all eyes. Virgo`s have a secrets that virtuous as they are would not like to come out in open so even if you have the key to their secret skeleton closet hide it do not admit even that you know anything about it. Virgo, the virgins, does not want to tarnish their public image.

---

Have been reminded over& over again by Mom to give room one of those once ina blue moon cleanups. Which worked quite fine surprisingly, I must say. Discovered those old yellow pages of my diary I used to treasure (hawhaw) and I can't help but pat myself on the back for better handwriting, if not much but yes a little in the least. Finished clearing the dustbunnies, decided that,
Sleeping wastes time.

So i went on to do something sweet :
Decorating mah room/+ making things look pwretty pwretty.
No pictures collected, I sat on the cammie and mardy bum mah fat arse just had to ruin the godzammit thing. Yes you heard me. My arse compiled by gazeeeellion tons of fat molecules, murdered the cammie. I say mock regrettably.

More dates puhlease yiluZXZXZ &girls, no ? Cause unfortunately,
~~Math remedials~~ = DATES IN THE BIIIIIIIG BWIGHT SUN ^^

Someone please stab me for feeling twitish today. I'll gladly provide the knife.

2006-11-17T22:27:00.000-08:00

Hokay that was a three minutes moodswing. Aha brace yourselves, I'm having hormonal imbalancies -- which means I currently have the tendency to throw my moods around so, bear with me please.

---

Anyway I passed Zeh Test today uh huh give it up to me y'all c'mon who's da woman (?!) Ahhhh so I spent my time at home waiting for a phone call which just came around a minute ago and blew the storms in my head away. Sweet.! ^^

We gon' party like it's your birthday;

2006-11-17T22:26:00.000-08:00

Lost Prophets -- Rooftops

When our time is up,
When our lives are done,
Will we say we've had our fun ?

Will we make a mark,
This time.
Will we always say we tried ?

Standing on the rooftops,
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops,
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops,
Everybody scream your heart out.
This is all we've got now,
Everybody scream your heart out.

All the love I've met,
I have no regrets,
If it all ends now,
I'm set.

Will we make our mark,
This time.
Will we always say we tried ?

Standing on the rooftops,
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops,
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops,
Everybody scream your heart out.
This is all we've got now,
Everybody scream your heart out.

Standing on the rooftop,
Waiting till the bomb drops,
This is all we've got now,
Scream until your heart stops,
Never gonna regret,
Watching every sunset,
Listen to your heartbeat,
All the love that we've felt.

Standing on the rooftop,
Waiting till the bomb drops,
This is all we've got now,
Scream until your heart stops,
Never gonna regret,
Watching every sunset,
Listen to your heartbeat,
All the love that we've felt.

Scream your heart out.
Scream your heart out.
Scream your heart out.
Scream your...

Standing on the rooftops,
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops,
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops,
Everybody scream your heart out.
This is all we've got now,
Everybody scream your...

P.S Stop sending me hotmails warnings that it's gonna close down.! Do have the intellectual to realise that the headings are always "Re : Final Warning" &yet how many times does the word final have to appear before you understand the true meaning of it ? If not I suggest you brush up on English before attempting to send me trash again, please.

---

Whoops I'm inna bad mood.

2006-11-14T04:04:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wish we could play pretend, and maybe just for the moment. I could be his her.
Please.?

2006-11-11T23:01:00.000-08:00

Cause just this time, I'm taking what I get & dont stop me.

Okay my days are spent um say, fruitfully I suppose if you categorise math remedials from 8am to 12pm under Fun. But throw in those breakfasts, piano playing, fun within self study sessions@ the grand auditorium, and not forgetting a whole toss of hanging outs and you've got my game. ^^
Hanging out with Minmin, C& J (?), Huilin and Szexuan was joy. But then came the crashing of shiz -- results.

Friday, November 10th.
I'll never forget this day. The day started from everyone awakening from a night of conference calls diminishing all negative thoughts&hoping for the best. Everyone, including *. No one really dared to whine/rant/groan over the thoughts of separation running through our heads for fear that * would feel worse than evr. But deep inside we all knew how bad and worried we felt for ourselves, there was definitely no denying that besides our anxiety for *'s appeal, we were also pumped out over our own. On friday we all woke up to Dooms Day. Surprisingly I reached school about an hour earlier at 7am. Went to the concourse for a chillout, met #. Had some chit chat going on about him looking for another school and random swing talks. Later on Chantelle and Shuhua came along and we all sat together and talked. Saw Chantelle holding the book of secondary school options, and we flipped through trying to scout for the best available option she could pick. But while i was running my fingers through those pages of The Book, in my mind i thought :

What if this exact same thing would happen to you next year, Dawn ? What would you do.?

Shrugged my thoughts off, went on looking through those pages. Saw many unknown names of high schools I've never heard of. Then i flipped to a certain page that was so familiar.
Blinked twice, looked again, smiled. Chung Cheng High Main.
The longing to scream out loud to Mr Lo Chee Lin& not forgetting Mdm Tan Lay Gin rushed to my mind -- Please let everyone promote, please. Please let *'s appeal work successfully. Please let the school realise how much a second chance could mean to each and everyone of these people. Please. (?)
But moving on, C&S looked over to the flag raising area, and C said with a sigh, something I'll never forget :

" Man, this is the last flag raising already."

You could just see from her eyes how much she wanted a chance.
We continued talking along and soon they said their goodbyes and left me and # to continue talking on. It lasted around twenty mins, then M&N {ha ha} came& # left.
The day flashed by and it was already towards the end of Math Remedial. Karen bumped into us, and then huilin/minmin came along too. I wrote an appeal letter in place of * to the VP in hope it could help the school reconsider their decision in some way or another. It eventually led to a math discussion/tutoring, and ended up as a heart to heart to talk at the table. I can still remember, how tightly clutched everyone's fingers were when we prayed for *'s appeal to work. But while waiting for the VP to show up, we headed to the concourse with heavy hearts hanging low to check our final streaming option results. Then we all sat down and everyone was groaning over results/contemplating over how much regret we own. It was then that each of us started to realise how lucky we actually are to still get a place in the school. Because we knew that one among us was sitting down quietly thinking,

"I don't even have a stream to groan over. Stop all your shiz."

We moved on back to the grand auditorium, where we packed up our remaining stuff and waited for Mdm Tan to arrive so that * could ask here for the final about the school's decision on reconsidering her a place in Chung Cheng High Main. But by and by Mdm Tan Lay Gin just kept pushing it off, until *'s final attempt to talk to her -- which ended up in tears. All of us on the steps of the foyer looked at her, with that longing among us to ask her to brace up once more. But everyone knows that this time its different. Its just .. different.

Sometimes I just wonder, ~~with all due respect~~ why can't the school reconsider their decisions on all the kickouts/retainers. I've got not much say in this, considering I've my ass safe. But that's not the point. Its these people that mean so much to us. I'm not gonna spill my words and talk about certain retainers that get to stay just because of their obvious talents {you guys get my shiz by now}, but how about the rest.? These remaining people, are not unworthy of any talents. I know Yongkee's good at art&english. I know Chantelle's forte's track& english too. Maybe up to this point of time I can only list out two, but that doesnt mean I dont believe in the rest. Its godzammit wrong to actually state that they are not worth keeping in Chung Cheng. Because that would just prove the school values to be meaningless bullshit that revolves around a false facade of grades whose existence really depends only on putting on a masquerade and clouding the hidden talents that they have chosen to give up on. The school has something to lose, bigtime. Can't they tell.? & for the final, how could they actually consider themselves teachers when they really seem not to give their two cents worth of care&concern for these students that still have a long way to go ?
Just because they've made mistakes, you blow em off. But the real reason standing ?

"We can't afford to let the school's standard be pulled down by such academically lousy results."

We all know that's the real dyamzit reason. But don't get my intentions misread, I'm speaking for the student body and not for anyone in any personal particular sense. For once, if Mr Lo could sit down. And think about this from another point of view. What if his very own daughter, was good at something that wasn't really seen as "academically important" by the school but yet she gets the boot ? Would he say to his daughter,
"Oh forget it you aren't that smart enough to study in such a good school anyway. Don't even bother to appeal anymore and waste their time. Start looking for a neighbourhood school that suits your lousy standard."
Would he.? Would he.?

Quote Yongkee : "This isnt in the heat of the moment, but it will be sustained throughout the long run of my education in Chung Cheng High Main."
Quote Szexuan : "I am not giving up on my studies, and i hope the school doesn't give up on me too."
Quote Chantelle : "One more chance. That's all I need, and that's all cchms can ever give me."
Quote Joel : "I don't look forward to 2007 at all, with everyone going off."

There are so many unheard tears and regret the school doesn't acknowledge of.
Its always like this :

They look, but they never see.
Why.?

2006-10-27T22:09:00.000-07:00

Its funny how some people can say that they'll miss 2Grace by truckloads when they didnt even stay back in class on the last day even if just for awhile for the goodbyes. Sheeeesh give me a break really.

Anyhoo mardy bum calling out to :
Yilu, Nadia, Carol, Huilin, Kaixi, Karen, Pearl, Brandon, Clarence.
Re : You guys wna head to school to check the results on 10th Nov instead of checking it online ? Pssst, we could have those heart to heart/swing talks at the concourse after that. (;

2006-10-23T13:55:00.000-07:00

Our Affair On The Plane}}}}}}}

Hey. Would you like some postcards ? flashes grin :D
Hey um nah im doing fine thanks. grins back :D
Aw you sure ? They're really pretty, y'know. WA - Perth and stuff. (:
Nah really, its okay. (:
Aw aite then, call me if you need anything alright ?
Yeah sure, thanks. (:

Hey. Y'doing okay ? (:
Yeah im fine thanks. (:
So y'heading home or heading Singapore for a chillout ?
Um im heading home, yeah.
Oh okay thats cool, heading home huh. So how long did you stay here ?
Couple o'days only. /:
Aw thats okay, you can drop by anytime. (;
Ha yeah damn right i will. (;
Alright so anyway i'll be around if you need me okay ?
Yeah sure, thanks. (:

Hey um is lunch ready yet ? Its been fourty five mins since y'guys started serving. :B
Uh no im terribly sorry it isnt quite ready yet but still thankyou so much for your sweet patience yeah ? I'll make sure yours will be ready quite soon. (;
Yeah alright thanks (:

Hey heres lunch. (;
Aw man thanks. ;D
I'll leave you to lunch and call me anytime alright ?
Uh huh, okay sure sure.

Hey so how's lunch ?
Awesome ;D
Awesome, yeah ? Sweet okay so you want a cuppa tea ?
Uh okay :D
Plain tea ? Sugar ? Milk ?
Uh just tea with sugar thanks (;
Okay, one/two packets ?
Two thanks (:
Man i thought you were sweet enough already, aint.? ^^
Heh uhh thanks (?) ^^
Alright i'll ask someone to bring it over because ive to attend to something else yeah ?
Yeah sure, go ahead. (:

X(another person) brings it over, plain tea and a packet of milk-
Um thanks.

--walks over with a smile& looks over my seat at the tea.
Aw she missed the sugar ? Im so sorry i'll get it for you aite ? /:
Ha nah its okay, um yeah thanks. (:

There you go, here i brought you another extra packet just in case. ^^
Aw thanks. ^^
So how's your stay here in perth. Liked it ?
Yeah totally, its really nice here. ^^
You can count on it (;
Hell yeah. (:

Hey y'doing okay so far ?
Yeah im cool, thanks. (:
So hows your sister ?
Well shes cool too, its her break now i think.
Yeah ? Awesome. So when did you last see her ?
Arnd six months ago ? /:
Aw damn, must've been tough huh. The last time i saw my brother was three years ago and i cant even recognise him now.
Yeah, tell me about it man. Shes like. gaining weight by the minute. Aw shucks -
Ha ha its really the shit that happens when you go overseas to study yeah ?
Uh huh, you got that dyamzit right.
Yeah, aite ive gotta bail 'rnd here. Call me and i'll be here okay ? (:
Um yeah sure thanks. :]

--randomly walks past and pulls out a packet of jelly beans from --'s own pocket.
Here you go, sweetstuff. (;
Aw man thanks. ^^

Aw you arranged them{jelly beans} into a smiley face and a heart ?
Heh, uh huh. (;
Sweet. ^^
(:

Hey you've gotta share this with me man.
whips out choco bar from back and walks away. -^^-
shouts : hey thanks ! ^^

more swing talks than ever while mom was gone.

So back in singapore. You study/work ?
Um imma student. high school student.
Aw man high school. tough huh.
Yeah totally. sigh -
Cmon cheerup. You're with me, i mean us. Smile sweetstuff. (;
^^

ten minutes to landing -
Here you go.
hands over ----.
Hey im not a kid nomore ! ):
(;
(:

Aite so i guess this is it. Wont be seeing you anymore huh.
Yeah .. /:
But i'll meet you later when you get off yeah ? Cheer hun.
(:

-------

Dont ask me what happened, needless to say im back but,
i didnt want to

-------
Editd/

Yeah im back from WA and it was really nice over thre with the clubs/fremantle/freeway/city/pretty sights/eyecandy/awesome people. But we all know that five days's bullshit.
I want more.

2006-10-14T22:45:00.000-07:00

Im so bored im drillin holes into my head .. Kiiiiiiidding okay so heres what karen's made me do because steffi made her -.-

full name : Dawn Tan Si Ying
name backwards : gniY iS naT nwaD (?)
meaning of teh name : {i havent the slightest idea}
nickname : bong baba teh pimpmaster ;D
date of birth : 030992
place of birth : a hospital.
star sign : virgo.
religion : free thinker.
height : 167 (?)
weight : 50 {aw shucks carb alert}
shoe size : 7(?) ;D
hair colour : black with dying brown strands.
eye colour : brown.
lefty/righty : righty.
gay, straight, bi or others : well Bi's cool but uhhh lets see, straight ?
best friends : Carol, Huilin, Nadia, Yilu.
BFFL : Yilu, needless to say.
best friends you trust most : {censored}
favourite pals : gang of us in class.
best friend of opposite sex : Brandon (?)
~~boyfriend~~/girlfriend : Yilu
crush : nice try, yo.
worst enemy : daddy's ex wife&family of skanks.
favourite online guy : K, Z.
favourite online girl : Joan
craziest friend : Yilu
advice friend : Joan&Yilu, usually me, myself&i.
loudest friend : XiaoLin (?)
person you cry with : baby doesnt cry no more - {even if i do, alone.}
any sisters : 1
any brothers : 1 miscarriage
any pets : currently none.
any diseases : N/A
personal line : "how awesome is that yo" \m/
phone : Sony Ericsson
lava lamp : -
pool or hot tub : both ;D
a car : red/black sports car.
your personality : need i say more ?
room : alot like me
school : Chung Cheng High (Main) School - {CCHMS}
relationship with ~~parents~~mom : mom-daughter duh.
believe in yourself : why not ?
believe in love at first sight : sometimes, mm hm.
good listener : mm ..
save email conversations : only his.
pray : when others/i need emo reconstruction.
believe in reincarnation : uhh.
make fun of people : dont tell me you dont. {of course within reason}
talk on the phone : random swing talks are such love -
want to get married : it depends on the depth of teh male domination as we progress to our maturing years .. HA HA
like to drive : totally ;D
motion sickness : selectively.
eat stem of broccoli : uh huh
eat chicken with fork : only when out.
dream in colour : i dream in black&white.
sleep with stuffed animals : Piggy ? {HA HA}
next to you : boxes of pizza(?)
on the walls of your room :
on your mousepad : aint got one - N/A
dream car : red/black sports car
dream date : there.
dream honeymoon spot : rome/venice/paris
dream husband : him.
bedtime : ranges from 12 - 3 AM on teh usuals.
under my bed : dustbunnies.
single most important question : " You know who i am, but do you know me ? "
bad time of the day : waking up/draggin lazy arse to school/flag raising.
worst fear : losing all faith.
the weather is : hazed.
time : 10.45 PM
date : Saturday, 14 Oct.
best trick did on someone : uhhh lets see. which ? (;
toughest things about growing up : not getting trust from adults.
silliest thing you've ever done : lets not even go there.
most desperate thing you have done to an opposite sex :
worst feeling : when im weak&feeling fuckdup - to cry.
best feeling in the world : el oh vee ee -

can i have it like that
you got it like that -

2006-10-08T00:50:00.000-07:00

Friday, September 29, 2006
My love letter:Dear Dawn Tan Si Ying, My dearest loveliest Girlfriend, you know sometimes how I wonder what it feels like being in your shoes just for a wee little while? No, I can't imagine because no one can ever replace you and those helluva big-ass shoes you have :D And all those burden you're sharing with oh-so many people out there, I'm gonna take a bow fore you're the World's Greatest Person. You're someone whom everyone turns to and yeah Baby, you're their listening ear. But hey, I know something's going wrong, even the world's strongest could fall and listening too much could mean a breakdown my dear. It's time for a big-break this time, after all our streaming and everything, we're gonna party till our hair falls apart. Await for that magical break, you're gonna need some. And I'm going to have you over for sleepover with no parents or anything, just You and Me and we're gonna have a Girlfriend Night :) You have the prettiest smile I've ever seen and sometimes, that real, genuine smile ain't coming out. I love that smile and laughter of yours, so keep it going. You've always been the one putting up with all that shit that I've been giving you and I'm sorry for anything and everything that I've done wrong. You're also the one who's been always really there for me, relationships whatsoever, you're first. And you really are my Number One :) I don't want you to feel distress or anything, loosen up your buttons Baby, whatever frustrations you have or even with me, just let it all out. The beach is so near, I could even bring you over there to shout it out loud. And I don't want to see those tears coming out from your pretty small eyes. You're the strongest girl I've ever seen and yes, I've watched you grown from the time that bastard torn your wings but hey, those wings started growing bit by bit again, just like how your broken heart got all patched up again. Now you've taken flight, becoming people's Angel and sometimes that Angel feels tired from all that flying so she does need a break sometimes. Lean on me my lady, and Smile Always :D I Love You my Dearest Girlfriend and I forever will. Love with all my heart, Yilu.
5:15 PM

oggae that was teh sweetest shit ever aite i love you too :D

Editd/

Happy belated mid-autumn festival yo ! Okay truck Indonesia for burning their forests down and contributing to our decrease in visibility. !@&#%^ No shit, i swear its like the whole of Singaporeans are having some mass bbq or something yo. Like girl i hope the whole country catches fire and we could just all sit by the coasts and toast to dust watching the lights burn out. (haw, haw)

Okay four more papers to go and we're breaking free {ha ha} So chillout guys, its about time for the girls to let their hair down.

NOW WE AINT GONNA BE EMO ON A SATURDAY NIGHT}}}

2006-10-01T15:01:00.000-07:00

I get heated because im human, so bear with me y'all. Anyway these days prove streaming to be turd because apparently we've been mugging our eyeballs-/brains out but it aint teh pressure keeping us to the books. Yeah you heard me, somehow we're all psychoed in the screws to be good girls. Higher Mother Tongue's over for me without doubt, over. But english was love :D So yes szexuan lets put on our spectacles and get our head in teh books yes ? Such love it is these days -

{I saw you& her but i guess i didnt matter}

2006-09-29T19:55:00.000-07:00

I've had it with you, bitch. Stop going around and complaining to others what a slut i am. Y'know what ? You tell me it aint nice to share the same name. Gee i feel disgusted instead when you're the one im sharing the same name with, Dawn Teo. If you dont like me, say it to my face yo. Dont blog about it like some loser. I dont know what have you been thinking of, why are you going against me&all teh angst shitz. And to speak the truth you cant just bore other people with your words of hatred against me for all i care, because. well we all know who's teh bitch here, beeeeyatch. Y'hear me ?

And you. I dontkno wassup with you and teh fight today with davin&the other basketball dudes. Ive heard its partly because of me. &i appreciate your efforts that you got my back, ~~but im not here to take in your attitude aite. You wanna throw that shiz temper of yours on someone, it aint gonna be me.~~ So dont talk to me if you're in some emotional distress. Because you're the one that pushed me away.

Yeah, baby's got an attitude. ~~{and it aint nice at all.}~~

2006-09-22T22:24:00.000-07:00

Streaming is ~~teh sex~~retarded.

Anyway these few days was friggin fun i swear. We spent homework period sitting outside teh class, random swing talks&ghost stories (which turned erotica in teh end HA HA). Yeah you know, teh works. It was f*cking funny, esp that old canteen shiz. Dyam i had so much fun laughing my lungs out. Dontcha agree hl ? ;) Yes and after that came teh Effective Learning&we got teh back seats. The talk was aite, &mr/mrs smith were awesome. But sadly we spent the whole time telling stories and laughing. Caught the attention of everyone in the room every ten mins. Aw damn that was so hilarious i got blown away to mars. Even karen joined in with the fun. :D Then ya da ya da all the way to today, word got out that we were supposed to have two free periods, & sadly the teachers boycotted our lessons but still they couldnt steal our share of fun away. Was kinda disappointed and pms-ed about some matters but well its cool now. So yes all the way till after school - retardication.
Started the stupid (bi-lla-bong) and ali baba shizzzzz. Now im known as Bong Baba. ZOMG TELL ME HOW AWESOME IS THAT SHIT ?! Heh retardication kids, we've all got our screws loose. Not forgetting to mention that i took this silly no life video in class. I think it was pretty well done they should get me an Oscar's Award or something.

Me : you guys have no life man.
(continues .. ) &i have even more no life by actually taking a video of your no-life life.
laughter erodes.
K/C : Better than wong huilin - shes reading teh damn dictionary.
Me : &you know what word shes finding ? Shes finding the word "life".
laughter erodes, take #2.
H : Yes and i found it !
Me/K/C : Wow, interesting.
(...)

UH HUH, IM SO GOOD ITS ALMOST SCARY.

2006-09-13T00:59:00.000-07:00

Yes okay elim chew is zeh bomb diggity. Shes the dyam founder&manager of 77thstreet, you can check out her profile like here - its everywhere actually. So yes, she has an underground shopping mall and one above ground in Beijing&if i aint wrong, the whole mall's 77th street - both malls if you know what im sayin. &That aint all baby she was a high school dropout - but look where she stands now. Man shes like so awesome&so was the talk we got opted to attend. They had this rapper - ch-ch-ch-ch-chita B (?) and this dude whose breakdancing pawned. Totally. Man its like so friggin inspiring that im gonna kill myself for typing on when im supposed to mug. But hey, chillout ive been mugging till like AMs these days. awesome. ^^

im just gonna beat you down&you'll see what i mean.

2006-09-09T21:51:00.000-07:00

Ohmyxod this place is bailing. Arhwell, shall be fixing this shit up&my grades too as well. Dyam i hate it when the exams come a-knocking. Like uh huh, carol did math&tell me how much of an unlikely event is that. Oops. Heh but anyway, im so not up for school on monday. There're still the Geog&Music projects to complete, Home Econs sandwich project, Higher Mother Tongue(?)& English assignments(JOY) and not forgetting EMath - past years' EOY papers. Awmaaaaaaan tell me this isnt happening. I thought this was the Sept week break ? Like, hello ? Break ? Ohxod. (le cliche) Im dying. (end cliche) Sigh alright any of y'all wanna stab me, take a number, please.

baby. theres this guardian angel. right there beside you now. i know you most probably aint feelin her. not now. so here im telling ya. you have one too. so do you own a Branded Smile. We all have one, in fact. thres no other like yours babe, and i'll try to track it back to your face, whatever it takes i will guide it back. you never know how many other Branded Smiles yours can bring. (; so yes, guardian angels. each of our guardian angel, has wings. her feathers fall when you're down. she feels your pain twice as much when you're down&you hate the world. this world was once a great land of peace&love. but Satan came along&destroyed everything, so God sent these angels down from Heaven on a very special mission - to be with each&every one of us. God sent these precious angels to watch over everyone of us when Satan started to play his game&teach people the word "hate". Huilin, dear, dear huilin. Flap your wings and soar. Soar high&strong, fly away from this abyss. When you start to lose flight, i'll be there trailing behind your feathers. &when we meet again, i'll fix them back to your wings so that you can soar up higher, and stronger than ever. Baby i'll always be trailing be trailing behind your feathers. Until one day when we're both dammit strong in our own ways, we'll fly up together, side by side straight to the Heavens. but then who's gna trail behind yours? i wna trail behind yours too. have your forgotten. someone trailed behind my feathers once. but this someone left, &he tore my wings as he took off. I gathered my feathers, and sat beside God, fixing them back painfully, one by one. But now im fully stretched, &stronger than ever. Thats why now its my turn to trail behind others as well. But baby this time, its different. i'll never leave. i wont leave you like some ~~fucking bastard~~person out there did to me. i wont leave you to sit alone&mend your wings as you cry in pain. because babe each tear, contains a lil of your love. the more you cry, the less love you have in you. rmbr the Branded Smiles i told you about ? each Branded Smile contains ten thousand times more of love than you can lose in a teardrop. if you can - like superheroes - be strong&stand back up after the bleeding stops. because im here to help you cushion your fall, i'll be here to be your pillar of strength to support you when you're down. ive gotcha back babe, when everything goes wrong. hang in there, and smile just one Branded Smile. just one. by thinking of all the people you know that love you. make a list of the people you love, &also the people you know that love you as well. write this list out in ink, because then you wont be able to erase away anything anymore. we will always love you, rmbr that. these people are the people you have to learn how to live for, these people you love& in turn love you. i understand that i cant make you alright in this split second, snap. &i understand that not everyone can take care of themselves. not everyone, definitely not you. So lean back, you know im here for you because i lup you alright, beeeeyatch. :D

P.S, I love you.

2006-08-21T00:03:00.000-07:00

Okay damn yilu's tutor was fiiiiine, baby ! Totally i swear, m'dears. He was so hot he totally blew me away REALLY REALLY REALLY. Uh huh, but girls girls girls keep your hair down alright, the dude's flying off for further studies aww. /: Sigh okay you bombed me : so we didnt actually do anything and we kinda just spent our share of fun in the sun at TCC outside PS. And well occasional peeks at the dude was obviously done, and we were so into the laughing shits. I realy had fun today babes, as always and thanks for making me a vvv happy girl today i love y'all, so much swear.
SHWIZZERBANG; baby aint you gonna talk to me.

2006-08-20T01:35:00.000-07:00

Alright im realy getting kinda /: now, swear. But baby its okay i'll be fine in a min. But for now, i dont get it. I realy aint. If you think you're a pretty faced boy doesnt entitle you no damn rights t treat babes out thre like they dont matter. It doesnt, y'hear me nut-hole shwizzerbang. Sheesh anyhoo ~~tmr~~today i'll be chillin w the babes at PS baby yeah :D But hush and hear me, we aint gonna be shopping and all ze other fun shits but we're gonna be stuck at mac doing some friggin piece of chi assignment thats due tmr aww. /: Damn that sucks like totally someone please H-E-L-P us damsels in distress(HA HA).

Arh anyway streaming's up for us in 6 weeks oh shat im so screwd because i totally had my physics paper blown, baby. Man but well thankfully mom doesnt know a shyat about grounding kids( hello heaven ), sweeet ! Okay my saturday is pooped like every other thanks t math tuition awmaaan this is so killin me.

And is anyone awake now ? I miss my late night phone calls and all the silly laughter shats uh huh those were the days baby. But i guess things aint lookin up for most people i know, so im gonna be a good girl and be off my way to sleep soon. (this is so random, swear)
more swing talks, if you please ? (;

"Hello stranger, where were you."

2006-08-19T23:59:00.000-07:00

CYANIDE AND HAPPINESS ! :DDD

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

alright kids thats all for today. this is awesome baby. :D

2006-08-13T11:59:00.000-07:00

Yup yesterday was ze bomb baby ! Well so i headed for yilu's place and met up w her and Friend. Kinda got intimidated by Odie and Oh'ryan(is this how you spell it ?) but it turned out they were realy okay instead and i found my New Best Friends :D So, we had some fun in the playground and revived our dead childhood memories. And Odie came along too, boy is he a fast runner baby. Almost had some trouble w a kid(for making him fall) and another dog(i think they both got turned on) -Odie did, not me. Ah yes a regulation hottie (angmoh caucasian dude) caught my eye by the pool and man, he was lookin fiiiiine baby. He was so hot he could blow me away like, bam. :D But we still didnt get his number aww. :] And so yada yada until - dinner came. Had it in her house (oh we're the only ones because her whole family went t malaysia and we had the whole house t ourselves whoot) We kinda just realy sat everywhere and had those silly lil talks when you say something dumb and everyone just starts t laugh&laugh(?) -.- After that we headed for the roof to watch the fireworks and i swear- it was amazing, honestly. And then we sat down after the fireworks ended and started t have this weird heart to heart counselling thing. I got counselled i dontknow why but anyway it started t get a lil emo so we headed down again t ze pool where yilu and Friend pulled me down and everyone got all wet. Towards the end i guess there was some kinda liplock craze(?) HAHA just kidding but anyway. two hours. and then. we left. :D It was like friggin cold when we got outta the water and i had no extra clothes w me for the night so i had t sleep in my wet clothes like damn it was totally unfab but ohwell. /: Yup so snappin back we headed back t yilu's place and they got refreshed while i stayed through the night in my wet clothes >:( But ohwell (again) so yup did some mugging, had some fun w Odie (yilu said oh'ryan could get cranky at night when hes about t sleep so no one dared t bother him xD) and then. lights out. :D The next morning i woke up w Odie licking my face AWW heh yeah baby you bet he's on my New Best Friends List whoot =) So yup i'd say in overall it was a blast and i love yilu&Friend once again hehe oh and,
P.S , for pulling me into the pool i've caught the flu bug now so i aint heading for classes tmr yay thanks Best Friends. :D
dawn, in and out.

2006-08-12T00:48:00.000-07:00

I LOVE EVERY ONE OF YOU.
i love you yilu, for always making me laugh and smile when im down.
i love you caroline, for being bitchy w me.
i love you huilin, for being such a slut and making me laugh on height issues.
i love you nadia, for always making me laugh about the slightest thing.

i love you joan, for always being there for me and all the letters.
-we'll stay strong together always, you making them laugh and me making them feel the love.
i love you yunting, for being so bitchy at times and making me laugh.
-arh i wna see you flash that sweet smile when you take off your braces in time t come.
i love you junqian, for making me giggle at the silly lil stuff you do at trainings and in class.
-jiayous okay, be strong girl; for your apples and us.
i love you cyndia, for being so silly sometimes.
-be strong babe, you know we're here for you. keep your smiles up, things will tide over i promise.
i love you cat, for making me smile at the stupid stuff you say.
-i know its been rough. hang in thre aite girl.
i love you shuyi, for being so retarded all the time.
-you go girl ! adrenelin pumped all the time, i think you were born hyperactive.
i love you eileen, for acting our your f4 play w the rest and making everyone else laugh.
-stay smiley ! =)
i love you jocelyn, for being so sweet and lovely.
-stay like this okay, honey sugar.
i love you emi, for being sarcastic at certain stuff and making us laugh on the courts.
-aha yeah you heard me baby, you rock at sarcasism.
i love you huilin, for being so great at spiking all the time.
-yeah do us proud alright, you have what it takes and we all know it.

arh i love you daddy, for loving me the way you did.
- i know you never left, i still love you the most.
i love you brandon, for being the best brother there ever is.
-thanks for sticking up for me and all.
i love you szexuan, for confiding in me and letting me pull you through.
-hang in thre babe, be strong.
i love you sister, for being the best girlfriend ever.
-i miss you so much, and i'll blast you w all the love i have when you get back.
i love you colleen, for always retardicating your way around everywhere you go.
-stay bubbly always co !
i love you huix, for caring and stuff like that.
-stay lovey dovey alright baby !
i love you chantelle, for replying my super random msgs.
-ha sexy ass lady ! tkare alrighttt, and brace up.
i love you hua, for being so sweet and always calling out my name from the back when we bump and meet like : daaaawnnnnn .. (?)
-you owe me fries dammit xD.

arh y'know what i love everyone alright, yes every single one of you and if you're down, dont be. because when you think about it, its all worth for you t stand back up ; for the love yeah. (joan you know what im saying ha) so yup guess this is it.

P.S , i love y'all. realy.

2006-08-10T18:42:00.000-07:00

here we go again. problems.

this is realy the shit that happens everytime to us. you guys should know what im talking about. this thing, this masquerading of hatred and misunderstandings - has brought us apart further and further each time. theres no denying that we've spent so many great times together, laughing, smiling and crying our heartaches out. but look at us now. what have we become. you know that you dont like someone in the group, so please dont act like nothing's wrong. i dont wanna continue acting like im okay w all the problems within when im not - anymore. this has got to stop, before more and more problems start surfacing up. i know things arent exactly facing up for the both of you, him, and the rest of us as well. but what are we to do besides voicing out all the shit thats being hidden deep inside.

i know we've always been great friends, and no doubt we've had unmeasurable fun&laughter. but we're falling apart, and you guys should know better. NO MORE FIGHTS.

because i love y'all too much to see it happen again.

2006-08-09T04:36:00.000-07:00

Immersed in the darkness of a corner in my room i sat thinking :

Where is the love ?

y'know girl this has been taken too far. we've all had enough and someone's gotta put a stop to this shit. cyndia's been crying her eyeballs out, walking around pointlessly like some fucking dead person. doesnt that mean anything to you ? doesnt it mean anything to anyone anymore ? it does, to us. we love her, and you wouldnt know how fucked it feels when you hear her talk, sometimes ending in dead silence w tears. please stop trying to make everything seem like you're the fucking victim in this situation. what do you have to lose ? what did she lose. everytime i see her w that daze hanging over in her eyes. it hurts. i know we cant do much. but we could. so who'se fault is this. what could have been done, and what wasnt. we know what was the root of these shit, and you know it too as well. but when she tries to talk to you, you push her away and tell her you dontknow how to face her. but yet you can go on smiling and laughing like nothing's bothering you. so what the f do you want from her, from us. what the f do you want. sometimes you seem mighty fine, but when we get to this topic you tone down and get into that oh-i-dont-know-what-to-do-i-dont-know-how-to-face-her-tell-me-what-to-do-i-feel-so-sad mood. sheesh, get a grip ! you didnt lose anything, but she did.

Who now the price of her dear blood doth owe.

2006-08-06T05:01:00.000-07:00

alright we lost to JT in the netball interclass but who cares ? i think all they have is ego and please, we've got the groove baby. :D so anyway Mr Tan King Ming came back to campus on friday when we were watching the match of EP against JT(their second match) and we ranted t him about Lo : Ze Fat Asshole. i swear hes the worst teacher ive ever met and hes always trying t be Mr tan when hes not and there are so many things he does that makes me hate english lessons now when its like my all time favourite class. /:
he does stupid things as such :
- gives us an amt of a hundred bucks and slowly takes them away when any of us speaks chi
( imitation of MrTan, PLEASE ! and who needs your money anyway. )
- minuses away 5 marks per credit assignment when we write his name as Lo or Mr Lo because he says the right one's Mr Loh.
- minuses away TEN marks when we dont write his name on ever written assignment.
( arh what the fffff. you see the whole point, hes some weird dude w stupid name issues. WHO CARES WHAT HES CALLED. )

sheeeeeeesh' i hate him so much that it always makes me think of Mrtan. Mr tan's like so much better; he makes the whole class so lively and he plays w us yet he knows how t control the class. i'd give away anything t for him t come back t be our English teacher, i'd do every single assignment and hand it up on time. i promise. but i guess its too late, hes alr gone. gone t some stupid office desk post somewhere else. arh Mrtan, we miss you. please come back. /:
if i could, i'd set Lo on fire and burn him away t free us from these shit. i swear.

2006-08-05T21:32:00.000-07:00

y'know what i cant believe i have t resort t this. stop crying your eyeballs out and get a grip on yourself. cmon, how long are you gonna drag it on. stop thinking about the sweet things you guys did together, or how much you could smile just by looking at him while he talks t you. learn how t be strong, m'dear. you dontknow how many people you're hurting when you cry or when you isolate yourself in a corner. you lost someone you love. no kick, i lost someone too. in fact i lost two people in a year and ive survived. he blew it, so stop telling me you dontknow what to do. what do you want ? dont think about what you should do to make everything right. stop thinking about the right and the wrong. what do you want for a change ? if you say its over, its over. its been so long girl. you gotta brace up.

; P.S, we love you.

2006-07-29T14:52:00.000-07:00

you know what, im so sick of everything since the first msg started. i dont even know why im not angry at the person who gave you my number that easily. because im f*cking pissed now. all you do is msg me all day long and try t know me and my personal life. but guess what boy, ive had enough and right now you're getting on my last nerve. i told you t learn how t draw the damn line and apparently you dont get it and i wonder how the hell you managed t get an A1 for english. you make it seem like you have t talk t me everyday and when you probe me about my personal life, i'll tell you about it and you'll complain about not wanting t hear about some other guy ....I DONT GIVE A F*CK alright. so from now on, get a life boy and stay out of mine. i dont care what you think of me, and im sorry if i ever made you think im interested in being more than friends w you. but now its different. so deal w it.

2006-07-29T01:00:00.000-07:00

i want you back so fucking badly.

2006-07-23T00:21:00.000-07:00

this is the story of a girl who had a boy break her heart. she'd cry her eyeballs out for months, for her those days were dark and the nights were cold. so many things happened, she left her clique unofficially and found herself a great girlfriend whos still doing the perfect job of being there for her still. soon after her daddy got took away by the angels and she cried all over again. but she picked herself up, strong and callous as she already was, and moved on. a brave life she lived, taking up burdens of her loved ones and turning them into smiles and laughter. because thats what she lived for ; the love. the love she gets every single damn day from her friends and family. she knows its all that she needs to keep her hanging on and its enough. but one day everything gets out of place, and two boys cross her path. she refuses, and hopes they know where she stands. but some people of acquaintance to the boy out there just dont get it, they stand in her way giving her unnecessary irritation. she gets irritated sometimes here and there, but she simply ignores them and carries on with life.

uh huh, this my shit. learn how t draw the line boys, and back off.

2006-07-21T22:48:00.000-07:00

today was a total blast. well to start it all off, the sun almost killed us shyats. uh huh, we got cranks yeah we did. to top it all off, everyone in sec three was looking weird, baby. eeruey and his ripped shirt looked like he just got stripped or raped, chantelle was w her sarong, and i think elaine looked great. uh huh, shes way fine. :D
so we went for the events, and some stuff cropped. like, ivan got realy pissed w chen rui and boy, everyone stoned on the spot like some retardios. and FG was like, rushing rushing rushing all the way for fuck. arh we almost went crazy, having them pushing us all the way like hey, keep your cool alright. >:(
damn so the day ended w the usual speeches and performances, and thre was this lil dude from china who came to sing in this realy high pitch heh adorable. :D and so the ~~four~~three of us hit the town (yilu hadda head for home) and i finally got my hula&co necklace baby, yeah ! :D but i didnt shop enough and the girls had to head for home early. /: but we had loads of laughter going on in the damn cab, like girl i think we're getting cabbie syndromes ha. and huilin and i, being bimbotic, took the cab to from far east and dropped off at dhoby ghaut. -.- ha but that wasnt the most bimbotic thing. wanna hear the worst ? i once threw away ten bucks in school and i didnt realise it only after we walked out for a loong distance. like i was holding my ten bucks and an empty can i was intending to throw away, all on the same hand. and so i threw my ten bucks and held my empty can all the way till we realised something was wrong and the sense of bimbolia just flooded me. OH MAN. /: okay sorry no link-.-
so im pooped and my day ended. arh no life. /:

2006-06-29T21:51:00.000-07:00

i would trade, give away all the words that i saved in my heart that i left unspoken.

2006-06-17T14:23:00.000-07:00

What the hell is going in here ha. So i've finally got the chance to get my ass rooted in front of the screen once again - how wonderful. Sigh okay thres been alot that happened& its so sad i cant update about it because someone stupid in the family made my com off limits - like whatever. Argh' i've so much more stuff to complete&settle, when i realise i dont have the time left. So ~~instead of attempting to stab myself while being overwhelmed by frustration~~ here i am typing away all of my emotions - as usual. Ha ha this is so ~~linked~~. /:

Man okay so the conflicts are swaying &twirling in the air around u again &its so sad. I dontknow, i dont deny that i've been bitching. I admit i do, but you know after all, its really getting old to always repeat the same thing, to bitch about the same stupid revolting things someone does that pisses us off. Lets lay it all off, alright ? Im getting tired of it:)

Well i see thre are really alot of unknown people tagging on my blog w stupid links im not gonna check out&waste my time w, but to the others, thanks for dropping by&so sorry i cant really update all the time like i used to. It sucks i know, blame her on this.

Argh whatever i wna parrrrtaye tonight, who's up for it ? :)

2006-06-08T18:03:00.000-07:00

Okay She's The Man was absoloutely great man ! :D Im so gonna get the DVD when it gets released YAY. Hehe aw so training's been crazy as usual, w all the perspiration & scents diffusing in the air, everything's okay now. And i talked to joan about some stuffs lately these days, like ALOT. And it turns out that thres so much in common that all of us actually have, but its just no one wants to really admit it. I've been backtracking in my memory, when was the last time all of us actually had a real talk, as a team. To clear the misunderstandings or to laugh together; it struck me that we never really had one before. Man, maybe one day .. Never mind.

So the hols are moving pretty fast& i think it sucks, BIGTIME. We're supposed to be having fun&taking a break from all the stress everyone's been having before&during the MYE period but instead, "no life" and "tired; stuck w assignments" 's been hanging on most of everyone's lips from what i see. Plus, this month's passing really quick& w everyone we have to handle, where's the relaxation we should get huh. Damn.

Oh i got my ezlink redone in less than five minutes at the hougang central bus interchange after several trips here and there. HEY who told me its at buona vista ? (stares around) Grr . And i swear i'll never ever lose mine ever again, its such a pain in the ass to have to go here and there just for one stupid little card. Plus, the photo i have on my new one, SUCKS. From this day onwards, no one shall touch my wallet ever.

Sometimes i really dont know what the hell do you want from me, exactly. You can just disown me, for all i care.

2006-06-04T23:02:00.000-07:00

Okay. So i spend my days wondering&this time, i wondered about everyone's sexual preference. Dont close this window at the mention of it, everyone tries to avoid the topic when i dont understand why. Okay, back to what i was saying. I was thinking, why are some people so convinced that they are "straight", or "gay" ? Why are they so convinced to show or prove others what sex their other partner would be of, without any doubts. Why ? Hasnt anyone given it a thought that its just a matter of whether you found the person or not ? Maybe you might be thinking all along that you're "straight" & someday on the streets you just fall in love w someone of the same sex but you just shrug the feeling off just because you're convinced that loving someone the same sex is against what you are or what's right ? Lets talk Brokeback this time. If you go to this website, http://www.brokebackmountain.com/splash.html & read the stories of others, you'd be shocked to see how many people who have wrote about themselves, losing the person they love ten years or more ago just because of the pressure they get from the society out thre. Everyone thinks loving someone of the same sex is wrong, that its not right. Its not ! Just because of peer pressure, pressure from the society, pressure from the media, people just get this generalized idea that they shouldnt be in love w someone the same gender, & that they should find a way to stop the mutual feelings/relationship. And its so sad when you get to hear about the real accounts from dudes&dudettes alike whom gave up their loved one just for the sake of being acknowledged by the society. And you cant blame them, its not everyone that can be strong enough to give up being part of everyone&leaving the social world for someone they love. Just for that special someone. Not everyone can do it and still, everyone's just spreading this whole anti-gay thought to their friends, neighbours, colleagues, or even their children. Whatsup w them ? And snapping back to what i was initially saying, i think there's no such thing of having a confirmed or fixed sexual preference. Because being in love w someone the opposite sex doesnt confirm you're straight& neither does being in love w someone the same sex mean you're strictly gay or something. Sometimes, isnt it just a simple logic&sense that you havent found someone you love from the same sex(if you think you're strictly straight) or someone you love from the opposite sex(if you think you're gay) . Why label yourself when after all, you probably dont know or havent found what you really want ?

Am i thinking too much. /:

2006-06-01T21:11:00.000-07:00

Omg i cant believe my kickass shit bestfriend's heading to Perth&she's probably reached now (its 9pm as im typing this) because she went at five&the trip takes like four hours (i think?) . Yup and so she leaves me here for like a couple of days to spend without someone to tolerate my nonsensical shit. /: We miss you girl, come back soon (of course w something sweeeet for me hehe) . And im proudly announcing that she's booked for her first date once she gets back from Perth by me ! :D Hehehe im gonna drag her everywhere and we're gonna shop for shades this time ! =)

Okay i gotta start saving up. /:

2006-05-31T22:34:00.000-07:00

Okay i just fell upon this line somewhere : "An apple a day keeps the doctor away. If the doctor's hot, throw the apple away. " Aww ! Heh sweet aye. & i've been thinking about alot of stuff lately that i shan't blog about here. So if you ever walk w me&then wheneverything goes silent, dont feel awkward because in my mind i's be thinking deeply about something. =) Oh more food for thought, here's some statements i believe in .

- When u break a girl's heart, she still feels it when bumping heads 3 years later.
- When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind . ( see? )
- When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply .
- When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a few seconds, she isn't really fine as she seems .
- When a guy is quiet, he's listening to you .

Okay so it doesnt apply to everyone but the femme statements apply to me & i believe in the last one. Although sometimes he can be watching the TV programmes or thinking of what else to say .. HEY i didnt say "all he's doing is listening to you ." okay ! (stares around) Okay whatever.

So i went for training&everything was quite fine, just that trainings in the morning suck BIGTIME. Its like just waking up&realising that you're running 3 rounds around the courts. /: And then you just dont feel like moving your jiggly ass at all. I mean it ! You guys should've seen how cat&i survived through the first phase of training. We were like two blobs of lazy muscles dragging their every step, you see. (...) Never mind. /: Oh but one thing's for sure, the smiles are back&everything's fine (i think?) . I'm so glad we survived the tidal wave. :D

And i lost my ezlink card ! Gawsh how bad can it be ? Leme answer that, VERY. And how did i do that, may i ask ? Leme answer ! (waves hand in the air) I placed it on the tray in mac the day we were all broke&were craving for food. Oh brother ! Im like, so screwed okay. But to think about it, when i get a new one i can get a better photo on it yay :D Hehe okay sorry no link. /:

Bye people im off to cheers again for more of orange popsicles :D

2006-05-30T22:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the bomb man ! Although our choice of destination kinda sucked, the fun&laughter was still thre. :D But something just had to come&spoil my mood temporarily. So here's the scoop: This guy used this really really old&cheesy pickup line& therefore tried to get my number. And the pathetic thing is ? After i rejected his request, he walked away but came back pointing to my birthmark saying, eh, ni zhe bian you dian ang zang leh. ( eh, thres a lil dirt here ) Like, hello ? Gee what a loser man. Next he walked away sniggering in the really gay high tone w his gang of losers. Like cmon, whats w guys these days ? *stares around* Sheesh, look in the mirror & do a DIY makeover to save yourself from embarressment ! I think they need some mental therapy to snap them awake. *shakes head* Okay enough of these shyat, check out the pictures i stole from yilu ( i do it all the time /: )

mild retardication in swensons.

someone wanted a fullshot.

Okay i dontknow what happened to the rest, but lets save it for a rainy day aye. :D Yup & its so stupid, my muscle aches were so bad, they took the stairs&i took the slopes for the handicapped. What the hell (?!) So needless to say, i didnt go for training today. I cant even walk or sit properly man, so training ? Lets not even go thre. But yup tmr im dragging myself to training no matter what because i miss sweating& stinkin w you guys so much ! Hurhur &i bet joan misses my kneeguards HAHA. I cant wait to blast her w my smell tmr WOOT. Tomorrow baby, tomorrow, its gonna be The Bomb. :D

2006-05-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

BOLD THOSE THAT APPLY TO YOU.

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch much TV these days.
I love olives.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I've watched porn movies. ( do clips count ? -tammy video on jake's phone )
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe that honesty usually is the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed alot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. ( outsiderrrrss-.- )
I'm TOTALLY smart. ( who's the bimbo ? )
I've broken someone's bones. ( it was a damn accident )
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
I hate the rain. ( dammit, i love the rain )
I'm paranoid at times.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I was born in a country outside of the US.
I have worn fake hair / fingernails / eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way that I look.
I know how to cornrow. ( it was in the past, nigga )
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I think prostitution should be legalized.
I think Britney Spears is pretty.
Slept with a suitemate.
I have hidden talent!
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants.
I LOVE TO SHOP!!!
I would rather shop than eat.
I would classify myself as ghetto.
I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I like someone!
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before. ( duh, im a babysitter )
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
( lets say we start counting from now, how could i possibly have dated someone thats three to four damn years old ?! )
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
I have at least 5 away messages saved.
I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
I enjoy some country music.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I watch soap operas whenever I can.
I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
Halloween is cool cos' you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friend's ex.
I like surveys.
I am happy at this moment.
I'm obsessed with guys.
I am punk rockish. ( in sense of music style )
I am preppy.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup. ( only when in the rare mood )
I believe in prophetic dreams.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient on a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went to college out of state.
I am adopted. ( hell no i wasnt )
I like sausages.
I am a pyro.
I love the Red Sox.
I have thrown up from crying too much. ( lets not even go there )
I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colors.
I think school is awesome. ( cmon, w all the people thre, why not ? )
I think pigtails serve a purpose.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing. ( bigtime )
I usually like covers better than originals.
I don't like multi-textured ice cream.
I think John Cusack is adorable.
I love coaching youth sports.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle. ( damn ! )
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse. ( does I-Gallop count ? heh )
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I would not be friends if they weren't family.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I love vaginas.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I know who Santos L. Halper is.
I read trashy romance novels and I am ashamed.
I love wrestling.
I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.
If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.
I'm an artist.
I have a goal to collect every Johnny Depp movie ever made.
I have an unhealthy Taco Bell obsession.
I have had a crush on a cartoon character when I was a kid.
I have spent more on anime and manga than many spend on computers or other high end products.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I have pointy-ended ears.
I love Korean dramas. ( nah-uh )

Just some food for thought, hehe. Okay i gotta go, my knee's hurting badly again&ive got this really low tolerances for annoyances sigh. Ciaos people ,

2006-05-28T10:46:00.000-07:00

This is the worst last day of school i've ever had. So on the night before we've all heard about the bad news. Everyone's crying, mourning, trying to get to talk to the two girls involved but no. They dont wanna talk. Nah uh, not a single word. People cry their eyeballs out seeing these two girls sad&in tears. The day continues to screw till after school's out. SCHOOL'S OUT ! I remember always screaming for joy when the bell rings to end the whole term. I always remember all of my last days of school terms to be happy ones, that everyone'd be happy, smiling so much w nonstop fun&laughter. Why is it so different this year ? Cos its fucking parent shit day. Cos some bangedup stuff's been happenin. Its not outoftheblue if any other normal school day sucks, because it doesnt really matter as long as the last school bell rings to end the day. But its not this time. This time, this last school bell ends off the damn school term&its not like we can have it again the next day. We're not gonna hear another school bell that ends off all the screwed lessons a second time the next shit day tomorrow. This is it, its the last. All the way till school reopens, when classes start again. And we're supposed to be happy, bad stuff aint supposed to happen. Its not right, its not in the cards for us. Why are these all happening ?

2006-05-25T22:12:00.000-07:00

F*ck man. You read my msgs&you posted bout it online. I dont care if you're anti-God or whatever shit okay, dont you demoralise the whole religion or beliefs esp when it comes from people that talk to me about it.

Ohmy gosh i cant believe it.
Hey emilene. I dont know what else we can say. Maybe its better if we dont say anything but we love you girl, i love you&it hurts to see you sad. Please stay strong, and dont cry nomore. We'll be thre w you tmr. Shoot, i dont know whats thre left to say. i just..
I love you babe, so much.

2006-05-25T20:55:00.000-07:00

Whatsup w these stupid meaningless parent teacher meetings&this time, its the HOD im gonna see. &for sure my mom's gonna nag till she reaches the car&when she drives off after the whole thing she'll prolly call me up&continue nagging over the phone. Im so excited bout tmr man, i cant wait. Its gonna be like, the bomb. Sheeeeesh, what a bummer.

Oh tmr's finally the last day ( for the time being ) of having to wake up early on every weekday &wear our prettaye uniform&drag our feet to the big gates of chung cheng to have the usual boring assemblies&classes. Sweeet ! And that gives me a reason to smile again :D

2006-05-24T21:36:00.000-07:00

I wanted to post some pictures up but then i dont have the mood t do so now. /: I just found out that when my sis's going to Perth, my mom's going w her&shes staying w her for a freaking week. Sure enough, i was overjoyed when i thought she'd actually leave me alone. But its all too good to be true; shes making me stay with my er yi ma. Which means i have to drink her horrible soup for one week. Which means im gonna lose touch w my com&the world for a week. &that i'd have to abandon this place for a week. Which also means that i gotta wake up like super early to take two buses to school - now i know how lucky i am having car rides to school everyday for now. Its like, argh'. One week ? Sheesh, everyone in that family's a scholar. Educated, rich people. So im gonna have to be one of them for a week ? Im so not cool w that ! Like cmon, just let me stay at home alone by myself. I can even lock all the locks on our doors according to your sense of safety&security - as long as i can stay at home alone. In fact the only problem that would exist is the washing of my clothes&going to school, but our place is nearer to chung cheng than aunt's place for goodness sake ! But like they'd all say, all for my own good. Like yar yar whatever okay, its never up to me.

-------

I just thought of something.
Next time in the event of my death, i want my funeral to be an english one. My wake would be in my beautiful future house (something i'd work hard to own), &the people going to my wake or funeral wont have to wear all black. The dressing code would be that thre aint no do's/dont's; im not a taboo kinda person. &thre wont be any chantings, thre would either be chapters from the Bible read, &then during the breaks thre'd be my favourite songs played. My children could play the song Where'd You Go- Fort Minor if they think its okay. :) I would want more of smiles then sadness&tears at my funeral. &last but not least of course, my funeral photo would have to be the best one of my life. =)

A pretty neat funeral, huh. Hehe, of course i dont wanna die so soon yet. -.- I hope i die like in my sleep or something, but well its not something we can control right. Hurhur okay i gotta go, my mom's hollering for me to get off the com. Sheeeeeeeesh'

2006-05-23T22:06:00.000-07:00

Today was definitely a great day, &unexpectedly at that too. Thankyou yilu, zargyi, huilin&nadia okay ! I love you guys so much :DD So we headed to PS since everyone was free&i didnt bring PE&kneeguard for training AGAIN. D: Sigh Yup so we went thre & decided to get some stuffs for mrtan for his departure cum birthday gift ^^ We bought gifts for JY&clar's bdae too& sadly, i dontkno how i was spending but i went from 100$ to like ten plus ? Awmaaan, sucks totally. But anyway im getting back my monaye tmr from the girls ! *pumps fist into the air* :D 'Cause we shared everythingso it doesnt matter how much i have now, im gonna get it all back tmr again yay. =)

Today was greatly dreaded initially because i kinda found out that i have to see the VP. But i realised again they gave me the wrong information im only seeing the HOD, over grades of course. But well that gives me a reason to keep on smiling, lets not spoil our moods. :)

Yup s'more pictures today, just a few. ^^

i love these girls. :D

Endorsement deals. xD

nadia, nadia, nadia. *SIGHS*

oh hoho. classic siah. who is this sexaye ass mamasan anyway ? xD

Okay thats it, im still waiting for yilu to upload to her com HA. anyway snatching pictures are what i always do&she posts them faster than me anyway. /:

P.S Okay i gotta make this really huge :
HEY JOAN; i love you too, WOOO !
{ this size is to rebounce(?!) all the love you've spread on my tagboard, heh}